Vacation Recap

My vacation is over. While that makes me sad, as I really enjoyed all the extra time for family, I have a feeling that by going back to work, I will be helping Little Bug. He will get back into the swing of things and back to his normal schedule, well minus school. Did I mention before that we have three weeks without school?

We were horribly unprepared for this long of a break from school- you know, being mere mortals and all. He has, for the most part, done very well without school and we have even been able to use this time to work on something new- falling asleep by himself. He did this a couple times at Ama and Apa's house (that's grandma and grandpa in little buggish) and now does it for naps and bed time at home too. One thing we were not expecting was for him to ask to go to sleep. Oh yes, you read that right.

In nights past, it has been a multitude of warnings followed by an hour plus of struggling to get the little guy to sleep. Not no more. He has asked for the past two nights to go to sleep. He signs sleep and makes his awe sound and then climbs into bed and sticks his arms in the air. That is your queue to out his shark blanket on him and then place shark on one side and fish on the left. He then takes his milk and binky, gives you kisses and hugs, and goes to it.

Nick and I were struggling with this new ritual. It is bitter sweet as I am sure any parent can imagine- one more thing he can do by himself. One less dependency. A little less alone time with him. We are really happy for him and know that it is the best. It just hurts a little, the same I imagine when your kid goes to school by themselves.

Over the course of vacation, Little Bug has added a flurry of words to his vocabulary-
Fuck- truck
Fack- Track
Fra- Crash
Frank- our dog
Nut- Nick ( fitting name, huh? :) )
Bath
No- Snow
We we- wet
Butt
tree- Train
Gee- Green
Ama
Apa
Dohmas- Thomas
Harold
Round
Chi- Chi
Fridee- French Fry
Other

He has also tried a lot of new foods and textures-
Marshmallows
Ham
cherry cordial- made him cry and throw it
Spinach
Baked Chicken- no dice
Reese Pieces

His self injuring has changed. I am not sure if it has to do with the Ps and Qs and chewie, but since he has them, he has stopped biting himself. But, and there always seems to be one, he has begun hitting himself in the head with his hands. I don't know why, but that seems less alarming and more like stimming than self injuring.

I have to admit, this vacation has had some hard times like when his other grandma gave him underwear in his stocking, because as she says, all the other kids are potty trained. It made me cry and it hurt. But we will get there. Another hard time was to watch him with E, our friend and old roommate's older son. E has a little brother J who is one month older than Little Bug, but there is a light year of difference in development. Hanging out with Little Bug usually causes J a lot of stress. E was trying to play cash register with Little Bug like he does J- How much does this cost and Here's 20 bucks. J will give a price and carry out the transaction. Little Bug just wanted to run the money in the credit card slot over and over again. Its one of those times that I think will always hurt. Not from jealousy or envy, in fact I can't label the emotion. But it is raw and there. I imagine there are lots of parents who feel this way and those with special needs children probably just are confronted with it more often. And yet, I am unprepared, dear friends. Every time it hits, I am left feeling small and helpless and almost panicky.

In the end, I think of were he was and where he is and it passes. It always will.