Well, we met with Little Bug’s teacher. I was surprised at the conference that she defended the particular peer that Little Bug is reporting problems with. She did agree that this child is assertive and does cause a lot of fights. When we questioned why this child was a peer model, she explained that the child has excellent language skills and was useful in a language preschool. The child does struggle with social skills and this is something that they have explained to the child’s parents and are working on at school.
To be honest, Nick and I were disappointed because we felt like our concerns were a bit minimized. The teacher said not to worry so much because socialization is lifelong thing. She also said that it is probably a good thing that Little Bug acts up only at home- at least he is behaved at school.
Nick and I take his difficult behaviors- crying, whining, screaming, biting, kicking, and arguing- as communication. He is obviously having a hard time with something on Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursdays and this is his way of communicating the difficulties.
We received a call on Friday. The reason the teacher was defensive is that Little Bug is blaming the wrong child. The teacher didn’t teach class and only observed on Thursday. What she found, was that Little Bug doesn’t like the child that he blames for the bullying and they constantly fight- however, they equally start it and finish it. The child who is actually bullying Little Bug- calling him stupid and dumb, as well as physically hurting him- is a child Little Bug calls his friend and wants to come to our house.
Now, instead of one set of problems we have three:
1. Decreasing the aggressive instances with the child he doesn’t like
2. Working on defensive phrases and teaching him to get help when he is bullied
3. Our child idolizes the child who calls him stupid and dumb. The kid who tells him because he is stupid and dumb, they can't be friends.
What do you do when your child loves their bully? When they have only nice things to say about the bully.
Showing posts with label school. Show all posts
Showing posts with label school. Show all posts
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
Friday, February 12, 2010
Not sure what to call this
Little Bug goes to a special education program for 3 to 4 year olds that includes peer models. The peer models are usually chosen by the teacher based on their ability to fit into the program and the classroom dynamics. In Little Bug’s class, there is a peer model causing some trouble. This boy is incredibly assertive and Little Bug can’t let things go when someone does something to upset him. They have been in two fights- actual rolling across the playground and class room fights. Little Bug has come home with marks on him from these fights. The teacher insists that Little Bug isn’t starting this and is defending himself.
We are trying to work on this with Little Bug. We talk about how people can have accidents and how we should respond. We also talk about how we can use words in order to get help. Recently, Little Bug has been in quite a mood whenever he gets home from school. With him, it is incredibly difficult to get information in a linear fashion. He still can’t consistently answer who, what, and where questions. Often times, he comes home to tell us that he hurt someone at school. We have called the school and they have confirmed that while there have been altercations; Little Bug is merely defending himself.
Yesterday, we finally got some information from him. He looked at Nick and said, “You aren’t my friend- you weird!” A light bulb went off. After asking him why he said that, he told us that a certain peer model calls him weird and that Little Bug isn’t his friend because he is weird. Apparently, this peer model also says this to a couple of non verbal children in Little Bug’s class. Little Bug talked about how sad and mad this made him. How when this peer model says this, he hits him. (Thank goodness for honesty so we can address this). Little Bug says he doesn’t like school when this peer model is there.
On one side, this seems pretty normal for kids. Kids learn from these altercations and children this age have horrible impulse control. At the same time, this sounds targeted to the just a few children in Little Bug’s class. I am unsure whether I am over reacting and how far to stick my nose in. What kills me is that he doesn’t want to go to school anymore of Wednesday and Thursday. He *loves* school- to the point of being hysterical on Sunday morning because it isn’t Monday yet. This child has taken that away from him and made him feel anxious and unwanted repeatedly. What is the right way to handle this?
We are trying to work on this with Little Bug. We talk about how people can have accidents and how we should respond. We also talk about how we can use words in order to get help. Recently, Little Bug has been in quite a mood whenever he gets home from school. With him, it is incredibly difficult to get information in a linear fashion. He still can’t consistently answer who, what, and where questions. Often times, he comes home to tell us that he hurt someone at school. We have called the school and they have confirmed that while there have been altercations; Little Bug is merely defending himself.
Yesterday, we finally got some information from him. He looked at Nick and said, “You aren’t my friend- you weird!” A light bulb went off. After asking him why he said that, he told us that a certain peer model calls him weird and that Little Bug isn’t his friend because he is weird. Apparently, this peer model also says this to a couple of non verbal children in Little Bug’s class. Little Bug talked about how sad and mad this made him. How when this peer model says this, he hits him. (Thank goodness for honesty so we can address this). Little Bug says he doesn’t like school when this peer model is there.
On one side, this seems pretty normal for kids. Kids learn from these altercations and children this age have horrible impulse control. At the same time, this sounds targeted to the just a few children in Little Bug’s class. I am unsure whether I am over reacting and how far to stick my nose in. What kills me is that he doesn’t want to go to school anymore of Wednesday and Thursday. He *loves* school- to the point of being hysterical on Sunday morning because it isn’t Monday yet. This child has taken that away from him and made him feel anxious and unwanted repeatedly. What is the right way to handle this?
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Are you sure you want to cast the first stone?
The responses to the newpaper on the article I posted floored me. I can’t begin to understand the judgment of the mother. It was suggested that her child wasn’t really disabled. People cried foul that any 4 year old would be on the bus at all- let alone a disabled one. One person even suggested that the mother sent the daughter to school so that she could rest.
My stance on this is very clear- no child should be forgotten. This exact situation is something I fear for Little Bug. When we first signed him up for school, he was slated to go on a bus that would take him to the school for emotionally disabled 18 to 21 year olds. When we called, there wasn’t an apology- just it’s a good thing you called, because we would have sent him to Park Ave.
The judgment of that mother and child infuriated me. Maybe people outside the special education system don’t understand that here they push busing of all kids. Little Bug lives 6 blocks away from his school and rides the bus. We had several meetings about it as Nick and I were concerned with his safety and the ability of the driver to care for him. The school felt that he should ride the bus to encourage independence and to assimilate with his peers.
I was surprised how off track people got with this story. Questioning whether apraxia is really a disability or not and the motives of the mother. Who gives a shit? What matters is that a child was left of the bus for hours. I don’t care whether that child was disabled or not and why they were on the bus- it shouldn’t have happened. This would be terrifying for any child and parent. This would make any parent demand the bus driver’s job and then some.
My stance on this is very clear- no child should be forgotten. This exact situation is something I fear for Little Bug. When we first signed him up for school, he was slated to go on a bus that would take him to the school for emotionally disabled 18 to 21 year olds. When we called, there wasn’t an apology- just it’s a good thing you called, because we would have sent him to Park Ave.
The judgment of that mother and child infuriated me. Maybe people outside the special education system don’t understand that here they push busing of all kids. Little Bug lives 6 blocks away from his school and rides the bus. We had several meetings about it as Nick and I were concerned with his safety and the ability of the driver to care for him. The school felt that he should ride the bus to encourage independence and to assimilate with his peers.
I was surprised how off track people got with this story. Questioning whether apraxia is really a disability or not and the motives of the mother. Who gives a shit? What matters is that a child was left of the bus for hours. I don’t care whether that child was disabled or not and why they were on the bus- it shouldn’t have happened. This would be terrifying for any child and parent. This would make any parent demand the bus driver’s job and then some.
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Teaching someone to be a good friend
One of the things we struggle with the most is the lack of empathy. Little Bug has an incredibly hard time understanding that other people feel things completely different from what you do- you know, mind blindness.
A new child joined the school last month and has cried every day since- on the way there, during all portions of preschool, and on the way home. Needless to say, this is a bit much for Little Bug. Every time he gets off the bus, he tells us about the little boy, “E was fying fying fying. I said No fying- be quiet!”
We have told him how to be a good friend- you could say that we practice this. Nick will pretend to cry and I tell Little Bug things he could say to make Nick feel better. We talk about how Little Bug cries sometimes and the things we tell him. No change. Every day, he comes home with stories about how he told E to stop crying.
I don’t know how else to teach this- Nick and I are empathetic and caring- for each other, him, our family, and friends. Little Bug sees this modeled all the time. However, it isn’t picked up. Is there another way to teach this?
A new child joined the school last month and has cried every day since- on the way there, during all portions of preschool, and on the way home. Needless to say, this is a bit much for Little Bug. Every time he gets off the bus, he tells us about the little boy, “E was fying fying fying. I said No fying- be quiet!”
We have told him how to be a good friend- you could say that we practice this. Nick will pretend to cry and I tell Little Bug things he could say to make Nick feel better. We talk about how Little Bug cries sometimes and the things we tell him. No change. Every day, he comes home with stories about how he told E to stop crying.
I don’t know how else to teach this- Nick and I are empathetic and caring- for each other, him, our family, and friends. Little Bug sees this modeled all the time. However, it isn’t picked up. Is there another way to teach this?
Thursday, December 10, 2009
School Conference
Well, we had another parent teacher conference last week and it went amazingly well. His teacher said that she is amazed at his progress- he is now able to share with another child without prompting from an adult for 10 minutes. She didn’t expect him to be as comfortable as he is until his second year in the program.
She impressed us by going to an Autism conference at our local children’s hospital. We spent time talking about the spectrum and the differences between each kind of Autism and how basically every person with Autism is unique. We also discussed the possible changes that the DSM V might contain and how that would affect diagnoses and as well as school eligibility.
Finally, she told Nick and I a few things that we didn’t expect to hear. First, that Little Bug is the best behaved child in the class and she uses him as a peer model for all the other kids- including the peer models. She looks to him as a little leader in the class. She also stated that he is making progress on all his goals and well on his way to meeting some already. Nick and I thought it would take a lot longer than it has for him to make this progress. Finally, she said that except for the speech delay- his MLU is 2.2 and the typical range is 5 for his age group- she doesn’t feel that he qualifies for special education. She is glad that they are only evaluated every 3 years as she is afraid he would be denied next year and she wants to keep him in her class. We do too. He is flourishing there and learning a ton- letter recognition of the whole alphabet, counting to 39, and vital social skills.
She impressed us by going to an Autism conference at our local children’s hospital. We spent time talking about the spectrum and the differences between each kind of Autism and how basically every person with Autism is unique. We also discussed the possible changes that the DSM V might contain and how that would affect diagnoses and as well as school eligibility.
Finally, she told Nick and I a few things that we didn’t expect to hear. First, that Little Bug is the best behaved child in the class and she uses him as a peer model for all the other kids- including the peer models. She looks to him as a little leader in the class. She also stated that he is making progress on all his goals and well on his way to meeting some already. Nick and I thought it would take a lot longer than it has for him to make this progress. Finally, she said that except for the speech delay- his MLU is 2.2 and the typical range is 5 for his age group- she doesn’t feel that he qualifies for special education. She is glad that they are only evaluated every 3 years as she is afraid he would be denied next year and she wants to keep him in her class. We do too. He is flourishing there and learning a ton- letter recognition of the whole alphabet, counting to 39, and vital social skills.
Thursday, October 8, 2009
Showered in Praise
“Best behaved in the class…” “Extremely intelligent…” “Outgrow the program…” “Academic path…”
We had Little Bug’s first parent teacher conference and were astounded at just how well he is doing. The teacher stated that he is the best behaved in the class. Some of the other children, including the peer models, are “out of control” and at times he helps bring them back to a normal behavior range through his calm, quiet play.
She also stated that he shows a great aptitude for academics and is concerned that he will outgrow the program before he “graduates”. Speaking of graduating, when we wrote his IEP last year, we were told that he would be in this program for 3 years- when he is 3, 4 and 5. He would be expected to start kindergarten when he is 6 because he wouldn’t be ready emotionally or cognitively until then. He teacher explained that she will have a hard time challenging him until he is 5. 6 would be extreme. She feels that we should start looking into the K1 integrated classrooms now in order to find the best set up for him.
She stated that during class, he has demonstrated that he knows letters, the sounds letters make, and at times, possible word recognition. She has been doing “alphabet” cards in which she shows the circle a card that has the letter- capital and lower case- a word with the letter and the sound the letter makes. Little Bug is always first in line for this and always the first to answer.
We gave her some more supports- a picture schedule for sequencing for potty training- and a “choice box” based that I made based off a commenter’s suggestion (THANK YOU, by the way). For his choice box, I took a regular gift box and wrote “Little Bug’s Choice Box” followed by “FIRST” and “THEN”. I explained to the teacher our concern about his perseveration on trains. Basically, you put a couple of pictures of choices from a picture schedule and tell the child that first they can play trains, but in 15 more minutes, they need to make a choice from the choice box. He was incredibly excited for this yesterday and seemed really interested in it.
The conference went amazingly well. We came away with some great suggestions for supporting Little Bug in his letters and writing- Handwriting without Tears for Toddlers- and learned about a new teacher store.
We are so proud of him and glad that he wasn’t limited by people’s expectations of what a child with ASD should be. One of the specialists seemed surprised at all the things he could do while having ASD, which I have to admit made me a bit agitated. This person kept saying, "Well, it is shocking that he can do this. Normal ASD kids can't do XXX." (BTW, the whole NORMAL ASD KIDS made me laugh.) I think I said four times the following:
“ASD doesn’t mean that someone should have lower expectations of their potential because of their deficits. It doesn't mean that their obvious skills should be written off or abandoned. It means that they have challenges. Those challenges however do not limit the potential. While we spend time working on the deficits and challenges, we need to embrace the child’s strengths and encourage growth there. Many people on the spectrum, like Temple Grandin, have strongly encouraged this and we believe it.”
The teacher thanked us for our passion about our son, our willingness to help her and be his advocate. She stated she was excited for his abilities and that he was a fresh challenge to her teaching skills.
We had Little Bug’s first parent teacher conference and were astounded at just how well he is doing. The teacher stated that he is the best behaved in the class. Some of the other children, including the peer models, are “out of control” and at times he helps bring them back to a normal behavior range through his calm, quiet play.
She also stated that he shows a great aptitude for academics and is concerned that he will outgrow the program before he “graduates”. Speaking of graduating, when we wrote his IEP last year, we were told that he would be in this program for 3 years- when he is 3, 4 and 5. He would be expected to start kindergarten when he is 6 because he wouldn’t be ready emotionally or cognitively until then. He teacher explained that she will have a hard time challenging him until he is 5. 6 would be extreme. She feels that we should start looking into the K1 integrated classrooms now in order to find the best set up for him.
She stated that during class, he has demonstrated that he knows letters, the sounds letters make, and at times, possible word recognition. She has been doing “alphabet” cards in which she shows the circle a card that has the letter- capital and lower case- a word with the letter and the sound the letter makes. Little Bug is always first in line for this and always the first to answer.
We gave her some more supports- a picture schedule for sequencing for potty training- and a “choice box” based that I made based off a commenter’s suggestion (THANK YOU, by the way). For his choice box, I took a regular gift box and wrote “Little Bug’s Choice Box” followed by “FIRST” and “THEN”. I explained to the teacher our concern about his perseveration on trains. Basically, you put a couple of pictures of choices from a picture schedule and tell the child that first they can play trains, but in 15 more minutes, they need to make a choice from the choice box. He was incredibly excited for this yesterday and seemed really interested in it.
The conference went amazingly well. We came away with some great suggestions for supporting Little Bug in his letters and writing- Handwriting without Tears for Toddlers- and learned about a new teacher store.
We are so proud of him and glad that he wasn’t limited by people’s expectations of what a child with ASD should be. One of the specialists seemed surprised at all the things he could do while having ASD, which I have to admit made me a bit agitated. This person kept saying, "Well, it is shocking that he can do this. Normal ASD kids can't do XXX." (BTW, the whole NORMAL ASD KIDS made me laugh.) I think I said four times the following:
“ASD doesn’t mean that someone should have lower expectations of their potential because of their deficits. It doesn't mean that their obvious skills should be written off or abandoned. It means that they have challenges. Those challenges however do not limit the potential. While we spend time working on the deficits and challenges, we need to embrace the child’s strengths and encourage growth there. Many people on the spectrum, like Temple Grandin, have strongly encouraged this and we believe it.”
The teacher thanked us for our passion about our son, our willingness to help her and be his advocate. She stated she was excited for his abilities and that he was a fresh challenge to her teaching skills.
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
All by himself
On Monday, I was asked to attend part of the school day with Little Bug in order to make a picture schedule for his teacher. This entailed creating many transitions based on his daily schedule. This also gave me an opportunity to see his class in action.
I was really impressed on the sensory options that were available- sand and water play, play dough, a quiet spot, as well as an indoor fort. I also liked the way the room was set up- lots of options, yet displayed in a way that was not overwhelming.
I was concerned with some of the other things I saw. Little Bug was allowed to play trains for an hour without any interaction encouraged. By the staff, he wasn't prompted to share or have conversations. He wasn't encouraged to pick a new task by anyone but me.
The teacher and I had a discussion about his picture schedule. She stated that she had wanted a picture that says, "I share toys!", however the SLP stated that was a more behavioral approach. I told her I agreed with the SLP. The behavioral approach needed to be consistent as well as direct. For example, you could say, "Little Bug, share a piece of track with L." Once he complies, get excited. Do this over and over again.
I don't know how to nicely explain that the support level in class needs to be stepped up a bit. Little Bug should be directed to make new choices as he will perseverate on the trains all day if you let him- and they do. We get a letter telling us what he did each day; each day, it says I played trains!
I am concerned about our approach. This teacher is kind, patient, flexible, and willing to learn. She has asked for help and opinions. She has been very open in her communication. I want to make sure that we aren't telling her how to run her class, but what our son needs.
I was really impressed on the sensory options that were available- sand and water play, play dough, a quiet spot, as well as an indoor fort. I also liked the way the room was set up- lots of options, yet displayed in a way that was not overwhelming.
I was concerned with some of the other things I saw. Little Bug was allowed to play trains for an hour without any interaction encouraged. By the staff, he wasn't prompted to share or have conversations. He wasn't encouraged to pick a new task by anyone but me.
The teacher and I had a discussion about his picture schedule. She stated that she had wanted a picture that says, "I share toys!", however the SLP stated that was a more behavioral approach. I told her I agreed with the SLP. The behavioral approach needed to be consistent as well as direct. For example, you could say, "Little Bug, share a piece of track with L." Once he complies, get excited. Do this over and over again.
I don't know how to nicely explain that the support level in class needs to be stepped up a bit. Little Bug should be directed to make new choices as he will perseverate on the trains all day if you let him- and they do. We get a letter telling us what he did each day; each day, it says I played trains!
I am concerned about our approach. This teacher is kind, patient, flexible, and willing to learn. She has asked for help and opinions. She has been very open in her communication. I want to make sure that we aren't telling her how to run her class, but what our son needs.
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
I know you're trying to tell me something!
Little Bug had a really hard time at school yesterday. It all started when he had to ride the bus. This week he has begun to ride it by himself both ways. Apparently, he cried the entire way there and also bit the bus driver when she attempted to buckle him in.
He also had a really hard time with transitions and his teacher has asked that we help make a better picture schedule for him as the one that they have simply isn't working.
When we asked him why he had a bad day, he sai, "On da bus.... lowyang."
We have asked the following questions and are no closer to the answer:
-Is there a person name Logan? NO
- Was someone laughing? NO (laughing is disturbing to him at times)
- Did someone touch you? No
- Did you sit with someone? No
- Was the bus driver nice? Yes...sad...lowyang
We have no idea what he is taking about. We both are somewhat frazzled as we can't figure out what the hell that word means and why it is so scary for him.
He also had a really hard time with transitions and his teacher has asked that we help make a better picture schedule for him as the one that they have simply isn't working.
When we asked him why he had a bad day, he sai, "On da bus.... lowyang."
We have asked the following questions and are no closer to the answer:
-Is there a person name Logan? NO
- Was someone laughing? NO (laughing is disturbing to him at times)
- Did someone touch you? No
- Did you sit with someone? No
- Was the bus driver nice? Yes...sad...lowyang
We have no idea what he is taking about. We both are somewhat frazzled as we can't figure out what the hell that word means and why it is so scary for him.
Thursday, September 17, 2009
First Day of School Part 2
The actual school part went well yesterday. From Little Bug's perspective, it was awesome because he was able to play Thomas and sign Wheels on the bus. He even ate some of his lunch.
From our perspective, it has worked out better than we had ever dreamed. Little Bug doesn't have an aide required by his IEP, but it has ended up that one aide in class is dedicated to him. The aide stays with him through out the activities to encourage social interaction, sharing, and to be an anchor for transitions. This is all because of his teacher. She has learned about ASD and feels that him having an aide is the best approach.
His teacher is AMAZING! We took the time to write a letter with areas that he struggles with and suggestions as well as commonly used signs. She not only read it, but responded with thanks as well as how she implemented our suggestions.
She has gone above and beyond. She and the SLP have created a picture schedule for him. The SLP is hoping that he will not need it based on language growth by the end of the year.
Last night, there was an open house- which Hama and Bumpa came up for. They loved his classroom and his teacher. We loved his teacher. She spent half an hour with us, asking questions, taking feedback, and actually writing things down. She was open minded and asked for help. Being that Little Bug is the first Autistic child she has taught, she was very eager to learn.
I was amazed that she listened to us. I am used to having our concerns down played and minimized. Suggestions ignored because we don't have a degree. Not her. She asked for help in making a support for "How is your engine running?" to help him stay on track with the speed of the class. We taught her how to pick him up when he is aggressive and she took our suggestions on how to create a better quiet spot. Hers was in the middle of the room under a play structure and bright lights.
Needless to say, we are happy and have lots of homework. I am glad to do it. She is willing to learn and try and it is our job to set her up for success and support her. For her, we are creating transition cards, "How's your engine running?", and providing feedback on how we are implementing goals at home. For the SLP, we are providing the sight words that Little Bug recognizes, what goals he has with his SLP, and how we are working on it at home.
There were some bitter sweet moments last night. When we walked into the school, a little guy from his class began yelling, "That's my MAN! I like him! We play trains!" Little Bug didn't even notice or acknowledge it. It took 6 prompts to get him to look up from the patterned tile floor to say hi. A little girl came over and introduced herself to me. She looked at me and said, "I play trains with him. I like him." Again, no acknowledgement from Little Bug. On the bright side, the kids didn't seem phased by his lack of response. They just accepted him for who he is.
I don't know how to say this in a PC way, but it is different seeing him with typical peers. At the last center, most of the kids had Autism and they all ignored each other except for rare spontaneous interaction. It is such a drastic change to see him with NT kids. I never realized completely how delayed his social skills are. How delayed his speech is compared to other kids. Don't get me wrong, he can chatter a mile a minute, but not in the same functional conversational way that these kids do.
From our perspective, it has worked out better than we had ever dreamed. Little Bug doesn't have an aide required by his IEP, but it has ended up that one aide in class is dedicated to him. The aide stays with him through out the activities to encourage social interaction, sharing, and to be an anchor for transitions. This is all because of his teacher. She has learned about ASD and feels that him having an aide is the best approach.
His teacher is AMAZING! We took the time to write a letter with areas that he struggles with and suggestions as well as commonly used signs. She not only read it, but responded with thanks as well as how she implemented our suggestions.
She has gone above and beyond. She and the SLP have created a picture schedule for him. The SLP is hoping that he will not need it based on language growth by the end of the year.
Last night, there was an open house- which Hama and Bumpa came up for. They loved his classroom and his teacher. We loved his teacher. She spent half an hour with us, asking questions, taking feedback, and actually writing things down. She was open minded and asked for help. Being that Little Bug is the first Autistic child she has taught, she was very eager to learn.
I was amazed that she listened to us. I am used to having our concerns down played and minimized. Suggestions ignored because we don't have a degree. Not her. She asked for help in making a support for "How is your engine running?" to help him stay on track with the speed of the class. We taught her how to pick him up when he is aggressive and she took our suggestions on how to create a better quiet spot. Hers was in the middle of the room under a play structure and bright lights.
Needless to say, we are happy and have lots of homework. I am glad to do it. She is willing to learn and try and it is our job to set her up for success and support her. For her, we are creating transition cards, "How's your engine running?", and providing feedback on how we are implementing goals at home. For the SLP, we are providing the sight words that Little Bug recognizes, what goals he has with his SLP, and how we are working on it at home.
There were some bitter sweet moments last night. When we walked into the school, a little guy from his class began yelling, "That's my MAN! I like him! We play trains!" Little Bug didn't even notice or acknowledge it. It took 6 prompts to get him to look up from the patterned tile floor to say hi. A little girl came over and introduced herself to me. She looked at me and said, "I play trains with him. I like him." Again, no acknowledgement from Little Bug. On the bright side, the kids didn't seem phased by his lack of response. They just accepted him for who he is.
I don't know how to say this in a PC way, but it is different seeing him with typical peers. At the last center, most of the kids had Autism and they all ignored each other except for rare spontaneous interaction. It is such a drastic change to see him with NT kids. I never realized completely how delayed his social skills are. How delayed his speech is compared to other kids. Don't get me wrong, he can chatter a mile a minute, but not in the same functional conversational way that these kids do.
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
First Day of School!
Well, it's official- Little Bug is in school. This morning was a bit rocky. In general, he was pretty high strung and resistant to any diviation from routine. He cried about having chocolate milk and not white milk. The wrong kind of cereal sent him into a 15 minute fit. The shower this morning sounded like he was being murdered.
We thought that things were getting better because by 8:30, he was playing with his toys. Unfortunately, not. While he voluntarily put on his shoes and harness, waiting for the bus was another story. There was lots of stimming and ear covering; verbalizing and trying to fling himself on the ground.
When the bus showed up, she had us hand him through the door so she could strap him in. Big mistake. His screams could be heard over the bus and soon she was asking for help. He was hitting and pinching his face while flailing and making it near impossible to finish strapping him in. It took the two of us to get him in. The driver asked me to ride with him this morning to make for a better transition.
He seemed to be doing beter once we got to school and he recognized the buildings and the aides. Hopefully, the rest of the day goes better.
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
School Woes
Little Bug has reached a new low when it comes to school. Any mention of school, school bus, new friends, results in NO. We saw a school bus yesterday. He looked at me with tear filled eyes and said. “No bus, daddy. Pease no bus?”
Hopefully this is normal, although he seems to be taking it to an extreme. We took him shopping for shoes yesterday and I stupidly mentioned school. That tanked the whole damn thing. He screamed and cried and stimmed and lashed out at the boxes and his parents.
This weekend, to try to ease the transition, we made a paper chain to count down until school. We thought he might like to pick one of his favorite colors- red or blue- for the first day of school. When I asked him what color should be the first day of school, he looked at me and said, “BLACK”. He *hates* the color black and yet this was the color for the first day of school.
When watching Thomas the Tank Engine, we saw an episode were Thomas had to help the children get to school. He immediately covered his ears, turned off the TV and then put away Thomas.
We have tried taking him to the school in order to make him excited about it as well as talking about other people who go to school. No dice. He isn’t interested in school.
He has also begun to regress and his speech therapist is concerned. He is unable to answer yes or no questions correctly 80% of the time. He has begun to show much more echolalia in his speech.
I need to email the school and tell them that they have a storm brewing. They need to know that he is petrified. They should have some sort of supports on the bus and to get him off of the bus. We also should get a recap of his first day.
Hopefully this is normal, although he seems to be taking it to an extreme. We took him shopping for shoes yesterday and I stupidly mentioned school. That tanked the whole damn thing. He screamed and cried and stimmed and lashed out at the boxes and his parents.
This weekend, to try to ease the transition, we made a paper chain to count down until school. We thought he might like to pick one of his favorite colors- red or blue- for the first day of school. When I asked him what color should be the first day of school, he looked at me and said, “BLACK”. He *hates* the color black and yet this was the color for the first day of school.
When watching Thomas the Tank Engine, we saw an episode were Thomas had to help the children get to school. He immediately covered his ears, turned off the TV and then put away Thomas.
We have tried taking him to the school in order to make him excited about it as well as talking about other people who go to school. No dice. He isn’t interested in school.
He has also begun to regress and his speech therapist is concerned. He is unable to answer yes or no questions correctly 80% of the time. He has begun to show much more echolalia in his speech.
I need to email the school and tell them that they have a storm brewing. They need to know that he is petrified. They should have some sort of supports on the bus and to get him off of the bus. We also should get a recap of his first day.
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
Ri Da BUS!
School starts in less than a month. While we aren’t sure how much Little Bug understands about this concept, we do know that it makes him incredibly anxious. His flapping has increased one percent; if his arms were actually wings, we would never see him again. He whirls like a dervish- a tiny, sharky, vocalizing dervish. He has also begun to get aggressive again- verbally and physically.
His anxiety feeds mine. I can see him struggle and yet can’t cross the gap to understand and help process the anxiety. I have begun to make a list of things I need to do in my mind- write a letter to the teacher, get chewie rope, get fidgets for the bus, stock up on diapers for school, get a hold of the transportation department, make school pictures for his picture schedule, start How is your engine running, make a weighted vest, make a lycra tube, etc.
Even though the school is only 6 blocks from our house, Little Bug will be riding the bus. Because of his mad Houdini skills- he can unbuckle his five point harness and get wedged between the seats while the car is going 60 mph on the freeway, he has been sentenced to wear a reverse safety harness. I want it now so that we can get him used to it. Unfortunately, we haven’t had any luck in getting a hold of someone.
It is amazing how the stars line up sometimes and suddenly- kismet. This morning, as I was reading a book about video modeling for children with ASD (more on that later), a woman sat down on the bus and introduced herself. It turns out that she is the director of special education transportation for the Seattle School District.
We started talking about Little Bug, IEPs, and transportation and she offered to help me. She gave me a different phone number from what was listed for the SPEC ED director in Tacoma. Additionally, she is bringing Little Bug a squishy bus as a fidget- apparently on the first day of school in Seattle, all the little guys get one to make the bus ride better.
Its times like these that remind me that my family isn’t alone. That we aren’t the first people to do this and won’t be the last. That by being open, we can make connections and get the help we need. It reminds me to repay the kindness and be that resource for someone else.
His anxiety feeds mine. I can see him struggle and yet can’t cross the gap to understand and help process the anxiety. I have begun to make a list of things I need to do in my mind- write a letter to the teacher, get chewie rope, get fidgets for the bus, stock up on diapers for school, get a hold of the transportation department, make school pictures for his picture schedule, start How is your engine running, make a weighted vest, make a lycra tube, etc.
Even though the school is only 6 blocks from our house, Little Bug will be riding the bus. Because of his mad Houdini skills- he can unbuckle his five point harness and get wedged between the seats while the car is going 60 mph on the freeway, he has been sentenced to wear a reverse safety harness. I want it now so that we can get him used to it. Unfortunately, we haven’t had any luck in getting a hold of someone.
It is amazing how the stars line up sometimes and suddenly- kismet. This morning, as I was reading a book about video modeling for children with ASD (more on that later), a woman sat down on the bus and introduced herself. It turns out that she is the director of special education transportation for the Seattle School District.
We started talking about Little Bug, IEPs, and transportation and she offered to help me. She gave me a different phone number from what was listed for the SPEC ED director in Tacoma. Additionally, she is bringing Little Bug a squishy bus as a fidget- apparently on the first day of school in Seattle, all the little guys get one to make the bus ride better.
Its times like these that remind me that my family isn’t alone. That we aren’t the first people to do this and won’t be the last. That by being open, we can make connections and get the help we need. It reminds me to repay the kindness and be that resource for someone else.
Thursday, August 13, 2009
Your answers only lead to more questions
I have been trying to get Little Bug to tell me what he did during the day. When I get off the bus, I sit in the back seat and ask him about his day. I have found that he cannot tell us what he did in a day. Our conversations go like this:
B: Hey Bug! Did you have a good day?
L: Uhmm, no.
B: What happened today?
L: Rode Fains (trains)
B looks into rear view mirror to see Nick shake his head no, indicating that they didn’t ride trains. : Did you play outside?
L: No, inside
B looks into the mirror again to see Nick shaking his head yes, in fact they did play outside.
This goes on every day. This causes an insane amount of anxiety. We are going to send him off to school and yet not have any way to hear from him what happened. While I want to have faith and hope that the school will do the right thing by him, it breaks my heart that my son will not be able to tell me if something isn’t going well.
Little Bug had his first melt down about school this week. We can tell that he has been upset about something- which we assume is that lack of Birth To Three and the structure that they provide- as he has been flappy, jumpy, extremely quick to emotion and hurting himself more.
He was playing with a school bus on his road rug and Nick and I decided that we could use that time to talk to him about riding the school bus. We told him that he was going to get to ride a bus like that. His face was overtaken with a huge smile.
He looked at us and pointed to the bus, “Daddy Nick and Bake too!”
We told him that we weren’t going to be able to ride the bus, but he would ride it with his friends. He became panicked and threw himself on the ground, crying and hitting his head. He began to yell, “No BUS! NO BUS!” and then bit himself.
I wish we could make this easier for him. Nick and I have decided that we are going to have him ride the bus- even though the school is only 6 blocks away from our house. If he struggles with it or is truly unhappy, we can always withdraw him from it, however he needs to give it a shot.
B: Hey Bug! Did you have a good day?
L: Uhmm, no.
B: What happened today?
L: Rode Fains (trains)
B looks into rear view mirror to see Nick shake his head no, indicating that they didn’t ride trains. : Did you play outside?
L: No, inside
B looks into the mirror again to see Nick shaking his head yes, in fact they did play outside.
This goes on every day. This causes an insane amount of anxiety. We are going to send him off to school and yet not have any way to hear from him what happened. While I want to have faith and hope that the school will do the right thing by him, it breaks my heart that my son will not be able to tell me if something isn’t going well.
Little Bug had his first melt down about school this week. We can tell that he has been upset about something- which we assume is that lack of Birth To Three and the structure that they provide- as he has been flappy, jumpy, extremely quick to emotion and hurting himself more.
He was playing with a school bus on his road rug and Nick and I decided that we could use that time to talk to him about riding the school bus. We told him that he was going to get to ride a bus like that. His face was overtaken with a huge smile.
He looked at us and pointed to the bus, “Daddy Nick and Bake too!”
We told him that we weren’t going to be able to ride the bus, but he would ride it with his friends. He became panicked and threw himself on the ground, crying and hitting his head. He began to yell, “No BUS! NO BUS!” and then bit himself.
I wish we could make this easier for him. Nick and I have decided that we are going to have him ride the bus- even though the school is only 6 blocks away from our house. If he struggles with it or is truly unhappy, we can always withdraw him from it, however he needs to give it a shot.
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