One of the things we struggle with the most is the lack of empathy. Little Bug has an incredibly hard time understanding that other people feel things completely different from what you do- you know, mind blindness.
A new child joined the school last month and has cried every day since- on the way there, during all portions of preschool, and on the way home. Needless to say, this is a bit much for Little Bug. Every time he gets off the bus, he tells us about the little boy, “E was fying fying fying. I said No fying- be quiet!”
We have told him how to be a good friend- you could say that we practice this. Nick will pretend to cry and I tell Little Bug things he could say to make Nick feel better. We talk about how Little Bug cries sometimes and the things we tell him. No change. Every day, he comes home with stories about how he told E to stop crying.
I don’t know how else to teach this- Nick and I are empathetic and caring- for each other, him, our family, and friends. Little Bug sees this modeled all the time. However, it isn’t picked up. Is there another way to teach this?
Showing posts with label friends. Show all posts
Showing posts with label friends. Show all posts
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
New Skills
This has been an amazing week for our family. We have gotten to see some truly amazing things come from Little Bug. For example, we were at Hama and Bumpa’s and were able to show him how he does simple subtraction. I asked him how many pumpkins you would have if you had three pumpkins and took away 1 pumpkin. He didn’t even blink before saying, “2 punkins!”
Later, Bumpa and Little Bug were drawing on their chalkboard and Bumpa was trying to get him to spell his name. That didn’t take much work. Bumpa started with L and paused. Little Bug looked at him and said E…N…N…O…N. Hama and Bumpa were just amazed. So were Nick and I- we had no idea that he could do this.
His drawing skills are blooming as well. This week he has drawn the following- a jellyfish, a recognizable happy face- eyes (with pupils) nose, mouth, teeth, ears; and a correctly drawn pumpkin.
Finally, he impressed the hell out of his teacher and us yesterday. At the end of their day, the staff in his classroom goes around to each child and asks them what they did today. When his teacher asked Little Bug, he said, “I played outside with my friends- J, M, and L. It was fun and they make me happy.” First of all, those are the longest unprompted sentences that I can think of. But more importantly and impressively, he spoke about feelings and friends- something that he almost never does.
Later, Bumpa and Little Bug were drawing on their chalkboard and Bumpa was trying to get him to spell his name. That didn’t take much work. Bumpa started with L and paused. Little Bug looked at him and said E…N…N…O…N. Hama and Bumpa were just amazed. So were Nick and I- we had no idea that he could do this.
His drawing skills are blooming as well. This week he has drawn the following- a jellyfish, a recognizable happy face- eyes (with pupils) nose, mouth, teeth, ears; and a correctly drawn pumpkin.
Finally, he impressed the hell out of his teacher and us yesterday. At the end of their day, the staff in his classroom goes around to each child and asks them what they did today. When his teacher asked Little Bug, he said, “I played outside with my friends- J, M, and L. It was fun and they make me happy.” First of all, those are the longest unprompted sentences that I can think of. But more importantly and impressively, he spoke about feelings and friends- something that he almost never does.
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Conversations
A couple nights ago, Little Bug cuddled up to me in bed. “Daddy Bake?”
“Yes Bug?”
“I swim whale sharks.”
“You want to swim with whale sharks?”
“Yeah… tiger sharks, bee white white sharks, sand tiger sharks, blue sharks, hammer sharks- scawy for me. Just look. Bee hurt me.”
“You’re right; all those sharks could hurt you. Can whale sharks hurt you?”
“NO! No teef!”
“You’re right, they don’t have teeth.”
“You come with me?”
“You want me to go swim with whale sharks with you…. Anytime.”
He rolled over, content in this conversation. He closed his eyes and cuddled in between me and Nick. Within seconds he was asleep.
When Nick and Little Bug come pick me up from the bus stop, I always ask Little Bug about his day. He normally says that he “paid twains” and that’s about it. Sometimes, I get a garbled sentence about his teacher with lots of hand motions. Yesterday, he surprised us all.
“How was your day, Little Bug?”
“I paid twains.”
I rolled my eyes and sighed thinking that this would be the usual end of our conversation. “How was your lunch?”
“I ate. Raidins. Ham. Capcakes.” He frowned furiously. It was obvious that he was really trying to figure something out. “I shared with O. O is my friend. N. too!”
I burst into tears. He has never mentioned friends. He has never mentioned people from his class before. He went to his last school with O and although O was Little Bug’s favorite person to play with, he never talked about him. In fact, they never talked to each other. They would hold hands during Red Light, Green Light, and play next to each other. Apparently, he always holds O’s hand when getting off the bus and going to lunch.
Little Bug has also decided he has a west fiend- which I am assuming is a best friend… our dog Frank. He gave him a hug last night and said, “Frank, you my west fiend.”
“Yes Bug?”
“I swim whale sharks.”
“You want to swim with whale sharks?”
“Yeah… tiger sharks, bee white white sharks, sand tiger sharks, blue sharks, hammer sharks- scawy for me. Just look. Bee hurt me.”
“You’re right; all those sharks could hurt you. Can whale sharks hurt you?”
“NO! No teef!”
“You’re right, they don’t have teeth.”
“You come with me?”
“You want me to go swim with whale sharks with you…. Anytime.”
He rolled over, content in this conversation. He closed his eyes and cuddled in between me and Nick. Within seconds he was asleep.
When Nick and Little Bug come pick me up from the bus stop, I always ask Little Bug about his day. He normally says that he “paid twains” and that’s about it. Sometimes, I get a garbled sentence about his teacher with lots of hand motions. Yesterday, he surprised us all.
“How was your day, Little Bug?”
“I paid twains.”
I rolled my eyes and sighed thinking that this would be the usual end of our conversation. “How was your lunch?”
“I ate. Raidins. Ham. Capcakes.” He frowned furiously. It was obvious that he was really trying to figure something out. “I shared with O. O is my friend. N. too!”
I burst into tears. He has never mentioned friends. He has never mentioned people from his class before. He went to his last school with O and although O was Little Bug’s favorite person to play with, he never talked about him. In fact, they never talked to each other. They would hold hands during Red Light, Green Light, and play next to each other. Apparently, he always holds O’s hand when getting off the bus and going to lunch.
Little Bug has also decided he has a west fiend- which I am assuming is a best friend… our dog Frank. He gave him a hug last night and said, “Frank, you my west fiend.”
Saturday, October 4, 2008
An angel named Ethan
Normally, I would not disclose some one's name. but considering I don't actually know this person nor have specific identifying details about him, I thought it would be appropriate- especially since we owe him a huge thank you.
You see, we took Little Bug to McD's to play and eat. Normally, when he goes, he can't keep up with the bigger kids and is usually left by himself if there isn't another toddler there. Not yesterday. A wonderful little boy named Ethan was there. At first, I was really concerned as there were a lot of big kids- kids who are as tall as me playing in there. But Little Bug held his own.
He went to climb up a set of platforms, but couldn't. He signed help to us, but we told him he needed to do it on his own- not to be mean, but to basically ensure that if he can get up there, he can get back down. He then went and sat in the play car for a while by himself, spinning the wheel and flapping his arms. That's when Ethan showed up. Ethan took him by the hand and helped him up the platforms. Ethan crawled after him through the tubes. When they came down the slide, Ethan told his mom- LOOK AT MY NEW FRIEND!
I went over and thanked Ethan's mom. I told her that she had a really special kid and that she should be proud. She didn't seem to get it- she said that it wasn't a big deal and that it was just kids playing. I told her it wasn't. I explained the Little Bug has ASD and doesn't often play with the other kids. But not today- her son made sure our son was included. It may seem normal to her, but it was so much more than that to us. I walked away from her crying a little bit. When I turned, I realized that she was tearing up too.
For me, this is a sign of hope. That Little Bug will be found and find the kind hearts of the world and he will be included. Not ridiculed. As a cynic, I have spent many nights worrying for his future- especially the torturous hell known as recess. My mind was more at ease last night than it has been in a long time.
Ethan, thank you for your kind heart. Thank you for including our son. You will never know what you did, but thank you.
You see, we took Little Bug to McD's to play and eat. Normally, when he goes, he can't keep up with the bigger kids and is usually left by himself if there isn't another toddler there. Not yesterday. A wonderful little boy named Ethan was there. At first, I was really concerned as there were a lot of big kids- kids who are as tall as me playing in there. But Little Bug held his own.
He went to climb up a set of platforms, but couldn't. He signed help to us, but we told him he needed to do it on his own- not to be mean, but to basically ensure that if he can get up there, he can get back down. He then went and sat in the play car for a while by himself, spinning the wheel and flapping his arms. That's when Ethan showed up. Ethan took him by the hand and helped him up the platforms. Ethan crawled after him through the tubes. When they came down the slide, Ethan told his mom- LOOK AT MY NEW FRIEND!
I went over and thanked Ethan's mom. I told her that she had a really special kid and that she should be proud. She didn't seem to get it- she said that it wasn't a big deal and that it was just kids playing. I told her it wasn't. I explained the Little Bug has ASD and doesn't often play with the other kids. But not today- her son made sure our son was included. It may seem normal to her, but it was so much more than that to us. I walked away from her crying a little bit. When I turned, I realized that she was tearing up too.
For me, this is a sign of hope. That Little Bug will be found and find the kind hearts of the world and he will be included. Not ridiculed. As a cynic, I have spent many nights worrying for his future- especially the torturous hell known as recess. My mind was more at ease last night than it has been in a long time.
Ethan, thank you for your kind heart. Thank you for including our son. You will never know what you did, but thank you.
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