Words

Its is raining wonderful and glorious words at our house and I wanted to share some:

hullabaloo
delicious
wonderful
awesome
flamingo
beautiful
amazing
great
Correct use of I, you, me, etc.
his/her


His speech is blossoming. Sentences are running out of him faster than I can keep track. He now comes up to you and says, "I want to talk." He then will pick a random topic- snow, frocidols (crocodiles to you), the dog, the school bus, and talk about them.

He can now answer questions like- What do you do when it is cold? What is a bed for?

What makes you special?

Little Bug, Nick and I have been having lots of conversations regarding boys and girls and moms and dads. It started last Wednesday when Little Bug looked at me at dinner and said, "MOMMY!"

I didn't get upset. I didn't get angry. I simply asked, "What do you mean?"

"...says you are a girl." Interesting. Apparently, someone has taken it upon themselves to discuss with Little Bug who really is a daddy and who isn't.

Now, I am not naive- I know that Little Bug and I will talk about this a lot- to the point of making me crazy. I know that he may hate me for a while when he gets older and his friends give him shit. I know that he will always know, above all else, Nick and I love him more than our own lives and that is what matters. I believe that he will accept it and be proud of having two daddies- even if one is a special daddy.

What I do mind is that someone took it upon themselves to get into this with my son. While he has told us who said this, they deny it. It's a tricky situation.

But I digress and want to get back to the really cool part of all this mess. As I said, we have been talking about daddies and mommies and parts etc. I explained to him that I was born a girl, but am a boy. Whether he understands that at 3, I don't know, but I want to be honest with him. Regardless, he seemed unphased and went back to calling me Daddy Blake.

Yesterday, he brought it up again. He began counting the number of boys and girls in our house. He stated, "4 boys- you, me, Fink, Nick. 1 girl- you."

I looked at him and asked, "Am I a special boy?" I asked this hoping that it would ease us back into the whole transgender thing.

Little Bug looked at me and beamed, "Yes! Me special too!"

"I know you are, bug. You will always be special and amazing to Daddy Nick and I. What makes me special?"

He looked at me and beamed again. "Because I love you."

I am happy to special that way above all others.

New Skills

This has been an amazing week for our family. We have gotten to see some truly amazing things come from Little Bug. For example, we were at Hama and Bumpa’s and were able to show him how he does simple subtraction. I asked him how many pumpkins you would have if you had three pumpkins and took away 1 pumpkin. He didn’t even blink before saying, “2 punkins!”

Later, Bumpa and Little Bug were drawing on their chalkboard and Bumpa was trying to get him to spell his name. That didn’t take much work. Bumpa started with L and paused. Little Bug looked at him and said E…N…N…O…N. Hama and Bumpa were just amazed. So were Nick and I- we had no idea that he could do this.

His drawing skills are blooming as well. This week he has drawn the following- a jellyfish, a recognizable happy face- eyes (with pupils) nose, mouth, teeth, ears; and a correctly drawn pumpkin.

Finally, he impressed the hell out of his teacher and us yesterday. At the end of their day, the staff in his classroom goes around to each child and asks them what they did today. When his teacher asked Little Bug, he said, “I played outside with my friends- J, M, and L. It was fun and they make me happy.” First of all, those are the longest unprompted sentences that I can think of. But more importantly and impressively, he spoke about feelings and friends- something that he almost never does.

Want Potty Feet Pease!

Little Bug had a huge break through this weekend- voluntarily putting on his Thomas the Tank Engine costume in order to go trick or treating. We tried asking him and that didn’t go well. Nick and I had already decided we weren’t going to make it an issue, because at that point, it would be for us and not him.

Well, it took 3 trick-or-treaters before he changed his mind. You could see his little brain turning it over again and again- ridiculous outfits and saying tick or feet gets me candy… I can do that. As soon as he broke this down, he grabbed his costume and but bolted out the door.

We had a great time doing this. He went up to the doors on his own free will. He knocked on the door and, at first said, “TICK OR FEET PEASE!” Gradually, he forgot that you should say trick or treat and began to say, “Want potty feet pease!” Some people wanted to know what the heck he was asking for while others just laughed hysterically and gave him huge handfuls of candy for being cute.

Nick and I had a great time. It was amazing to see him do this. We felt lucky because we were able to witness a huge milestone for our child. Something we weren’t sure would ever happen. Something that we gave up. We are so grateful for this. We are given opportunities to appreciate milestones and events that everyone assumes will always happen.

General Chaos

This is my new nickname for Little Bug and how things have been recently. On Thursday, we had to take Little Bug to the Urgent Care because he had a fever and a horrible cough that started on Tuesday. Friday and Saturday were much worse for him- he started to not eat and say that it hurt to drink. Luckily, he is much better and able to go back to school.

Starting last Sunday, Little Bug has begun waking up at 4 or so every morning. Yesterday he woke up at 3:30. As he doesn’t take naps- of his own volition- we have tried having him go to bed earlier- which only results in waking up earlier.

The bright side of this chaos is that he has some wonderful emerging skills. He has learned two new games- “I am…” and “I see…” “I see” is the same as I Spy. “I am” involves picking an animal and either acting it out or telling some details about it. He has become very good at pretending through this game and has begun to do it independently. He will stand on the couch and flap his arms and say, “I am a bird!” He will hop on all fours and say, “I am a frog.”

He also demonstrated the concept of wanting- something besides food, water, etc. While this sounds like an annoying thing- the beginning of the I want monster even- it is cool to watch him understand that people have wants besides needs. He doesn’t say “I want (insert toy)” like most kids his age without seeing the toy or touching it. All three year olds who I know immediately begin asking for a toy when they see a commercial or activity in a show. Maybe Little Bug is delayed because we don’t have TV, but I doubt that. He has plenty of advertising aimed at him. Just look at the inserts they put in DVDs for children- stocked full of toys, books, games, etc.

He was watching the new Thomas movie, which now includes commercials for toys at the beginning, which I hate, but I digress. He began to flap and jump when he saw the Spin and Fix Thomas. Well, Little Bug wasn’t done with just wanting. He looked at me and said, “I want that toy. Santa bing it for me on Pissmas.” Not only has he demonstrated an understanding of want, but an understanding of a concept- like Christmas and Santa. I guess we all know what Santa is bringing him on Pissmas.

On Sunday, we carved pumpkins. He did a great job of touching the nasty, stringy gunk in the middle- I think my sensory issues with that showed more than his did. He loved getting to say whether the faces were happy faces or scary faces. That he was willing to allow us to carve the pumpkins at all was huge. Last year, when we attempted to carve pumpkins he lost it. He didn't want the pumpkins to change- they had to stay just the way they were.

On Monday, he asked to sit on the potty. We were excited because he fell off the wagon at home since he has started going to the bathroom on the potty at school. Well, he not only sat on the potty, but he pooped on the potty. While Nick and I were totally surprised, he seemed absolutely shocked. He stood up and pointed at the toilet,yelling, “POOOPPPP!!!”

All in all a chaotic and amazing week.

Pica Update

We received the results of the blood work in the mail yesterday- CBC, iron, zinc, and lead levels. We are relieved to know that he doesn’t have lead poisoning. Unfortunately, this debunks our doctor’s hope that rather than being caused because of his developmental disability, it was caused by iron or zinc deficiency. He was hoping this because, in his experience, children who exhibit pica from those deficiencies usually no longer exhibit the behavior once the deficiencies are addressed with a customized supplement. At this point, we have to wait to for our doctor to be in office so that we can talk about appropriate interventions.

We wanted to share some basic information about pica. Pica is a pattern of eating non food items that must persist for longer than a month in order to qualify for a diagnosis. Commonly eaten non food items are:

Clay
Chalk
Soil
Paper
Soap
Glass

Additionally, it includes the persistent eating of things that could be considered food or food ingredients:

Ice
Salt
Flour
Raw Potato
Raw Rice
Raw Noodles
Raw Beans
(items in bold are items that Little Bug eats)

Complications that can arise from pica can include:

Lead poisoning
Bowel problems
Bowel obstructions
Dental injuries
Parasitic infections
Malnutrition
Iron or Zinc deficiencies

At times, having information is overwhelming. It is difficult to read these things and think about our son. The worry we feel about this is only compounded by the limited pain response that Little Bug exhibits. In reviewing the articles provided, we noticed that children with developmental disabilities often exhibit pica for a much more prolonged time. No one understands why this is something that sticks with this group of children longer than other children.

The interventions for pica sound mostly rooted in behavioral interventions.

Interesting article

Mercury levels similar in kids with, without autism: study

by Jean-Louis Santini Jean-louis Santini – Mon Oct 19, 5:38 pm ET

WASHINGTON (AFP) – Blood levels of mercury are similar in children with autism and in those developing typically, a study released Monday found.

The research at the University of California-Davis, however, does not address whether the heavy metal, known to be able to cause developmental problems in children, plays a role in causing the disorder.

"We looked at blood-mercury levels in children who had autism and children who did not have autism," said lead author Irva Hertz-Picciotto, a professor of environmental and occupational health.

"The bottom line is that blood-mercury levels in both populations were essentially the same. However, this analysis did not address a causal role, because we measured mercury after the diagnosis was made," she added.

Earlier research has shown that mercury can adversely affect development of the nervous system.

The research, published in the journal "Environmental Health Perspectives," is the largest investigation to date on mercury levels in the blood of autistic children.

The study was done as part of the California-based Childhood Autism Risks from Genetics and the Environment (CHARGE) Study, of which Hertz-Picciotto is lead investigator.

CHARGE is a comprehensive epidemiological investigation that seeks to identify factors associated with autism and discover clues to its origins.

Children who took part were aged between 24 and 60 months and diagnosed with autism as well as children with other developmental disorders. Children who developing typically were used as controls.

The study probed sources of mercury in the participants' environments, such as fish consumption, personal-care products (such as nasal sprays or earwax removal products, which may contain mercury) and the types of vaccinations they received, researchers said.

"The study also examined whether children who have dental fillings made of the silver-colored mercury-based amalgam and who grind their teeth or chew gum had higher blood-mercury levels," they added.

"In fact, those children who both chew gum and have amalgams did have higher blood-mercury levels.

"But the consumption of fish -- such as tuna and other ocean fish and freshwater fish -- was far and away the biggest and most significant predictor of blood-mercury levels," they stressed.

The study was carried out on 452 children: 249 were diagnosed as autistic, 143 were deemed to be developing normally and 60 showed retarded development such as Down Syndrome.

"Just as autism is complex, with great variation in severity and presentation, it is highly likely that its causes will be found to be equally complex. It's time to abandon the idea that a single 'smoking gun' will emerge to explain why so many children are developing autism," said Hertz-Picciotto.

"The evidence to date suggests that, without taking account of both genetic susceptibility and environmental factors, the story will remain incomplete," she added.