Wednesday, April 21, 2010
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
Okay, now I’m pissed.
Little Bug came into the living room last Tuesday, looked at Nick and I and said, “I will kill you.”
Stunned, we stared at him and then each other. This isn’t anything we would ever say to him. When we asked who said this, he told us that his friend, M did. For those of you who aren’t familiar, M is the kid that was giving Little Bug a hard time by telling him that he is “Stupid, weird, and can’t be friends.”
Little Bug then told us that this same child pulls on the back of his shirt to choke him and knocks him down by pulling on his arm or kicking his legs. The straw that broke the camel’s back is the fit that Little Bug pitched on Sunday night. He yelled about not wanting to go to school- without a reason. When I got him to calm down, he said, “No school… M..N…M… are bad. They hurt my feelings… They choke me.” That’s a pretty damn clear picture of what is going on, wouldn’t you say?
We have tried to tell Little Bug to tell the teacher, but he doesn’t get linear conversation really. You can be talking to him about how we need to go to the doctors and what’s going to happen and he pipes up with something about sharks. Meanwhile you can be talking about sharks and he will tell you about something that happened four months ago. It is like he doesn’t understand the flow of time or conversation. At times, I wonder if everything is part of just the same long day and for him there is no way of differentiating.
He also doesn’t answer questions well. In order to elicit the information you want, you have to play 20 questions and often times still don’t get it. He has a hard time giving basic information- who his parents are (two dads), where you live (the blue house),- and more complicated information like what he did at school or what happened at home often times doesn’t come out. It seems like an associated thing has to happen- maybe he sees something that is similar, for example a train like the ones at school prompted stories about school yesterday.
Anyway, we contacted the teacher. I can’t tell you how disappointed we were. I know that if I received information from parents telling me that their kid feels that he is being choked and told that someone would kill him, I would call that parent and schedule a time to meet with them and include the principal. We instead got a letter offering us to come to her lunch hour to discuss it with her.
Nick and I feel like this isn’t taken seriously. Yes, we get that they are 3 to 4. Yes, we get that the children in the class are disabled. What I don’t understand is how no one sees a kid choke my kid. What I don’t understand is how my son can come home with bruises on his neck that no one can explain- oh yes, we have pictures. He had bruises around the front and back of his neck yesterday and yet the note from the school said that he played trains and had no altercations with anyone. Really? So, where did the bruises come from? It’s pretty bad when you check your kid out before sending them to school and check again on the way home.
What pisses me off the most is what this little kid has done. Little Bug was so excited about going to school. He talked about “my kids” and “my friends” everyday. He talked about his teachers. He would beg to go to school on Sunday because he wanted to play with his friends. Not anymore. This excitement, passion, and fun have been stolen. In their place, fear and anxiety have been left. Yes, I understand that they are three. I also understand that this is bullshit. This is bullying- regardless of age and disability. This cannot be allowed.
Stomach update
Last Monday, we took Little Bug to a GI doctor to follow up on the wizard’s suspicion that he wasn’t actually emptying his bowels when going to the bathroom. He took an X-ray (which took two people to hold Little Bug down for) and confirm that his entire large intestine was filled with crap. He gave us instructions to have Little Bug drink 3 hours of magnesium citrate mixed with soda or juice twice a day.
If you don’t know, magnesium citrate is a saline based laxative that comes in lemon lime flavor. It is beyond disgusting. Little Bug did a great job drinking the first one; however the second dose took three hours to get into him. Unfortunately, none of this worked. We then had to try another laxative the next day- which worked.
Little Bug seem to take it in stride. He was pretty stoked about getting to eat as many popsicles as he could and drinking all the soda he could get his tiny hands on. He is slightly suspicious of us. Prior to drinking anything we give him, he wants us to try it. He knows that we the laxatives in his drinks to get him to take it and also knows that we won’t drink them if they have his medicine in them. This kid is too smart sometimes.
The doctor didn’t give us any real idea of how we can prevent this- other than daily laxatives. While he wants Little Bug to sit on the toilet three times a day, he did say that it could take anywhere from 6 to 12 months in order for the large intestine to shrink back to the normal size and potty training in that time may not go well as there is a lack of body awareness there due to the size of the large intestine.
Friday, April 2, 2010
Anything you want?
Little Bug has a new game. This is a wonderful game based entirely on pretend play. Its simply called “Anything you want?”
Little Bug will stand at the edge of our kitchen next to our fridge- where the linoleum ends and carpet begins. He stands and asks, “Anything you want?”
After pausing to think, I order, “I want a coffee please.”
“Anything you want to eat?”
“No thank you.”
“You want a salad and fridees. Give me 2…2…4…4…5 please.” (Those are his outrageous prices.)
He takes the money and puts it in his drawer- the letter ‘M’ on the fridge. He then runs over to the kitchen table and cooks. He pretends to chop lettuce and tomatoes. Then he shreds cheese and begin to fry the fridees. Finally, he makes my coffee.
Carefully, he makes three separate trips back to me to give me my food. Finally, he looks me in the eye and says, “Thanks!”
He runs behind me and pushes me into the kitchen, prompting, “Anything you want?” I know now that it is my turn to take his order.
So far, he will only play this game with me. He won’t let other people watch, so we are working on gradually getting him to let Nick watch and then play. Hopefully, we can then generalize this pretend play to other types of pretend play. He has begun to make up pretend stories about his trains and sharks; however no one else can participate in them.
Thursday, April 1, 2010
45 minutes
That is how long it takes Little Bug to get his pajamas on by himself. With the right choices, these can be the best 45 minutes of our day. We could rush and do it for him. We could grow impatient, telling him how it isn't buttoned right and how we need to go to bed. It could take 2 minutes.
We like that it takes 45 minutes. He grabs his pants and struggles to pull them- ensuring that they aren’t twisted and no tags are contained- easily 5 minutes. He has to situate his shirt on the floor so that it is in front of him and upside down- the head is by his feet (give about 3 minutes for this). He then puts his hands in the sleeves and flips the shirt over his head and onto his back. Allow 3 to 5 minutes for celebration.
Now the tricky part- buttons! The shirt has four buttons and each takes about 5 minutes. He must do them himself- he doesn’t want our help, he wants our attention. We patiently watch him do struggle to do the buttons. He talks to himself and chews his lip as he gets frustrated. Right before he melts down, he gets it.
Thursday, March 25, 2010
This made my morning
I found this on graphjam.com made by someone who happens to have both Asperger's and a sense of humor. It made my morning to see someone who was able to talk about ASD and laugh. I hope Little Bug can do this.
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
Change is always there.
Last Friday, we had to find a new home for our dog, Frank. Little Bug’s melt downs have become too much for Frank and the dog has gotten more aggressive. Little Bug is heartbroken. We are now at day 11 since Frank and things seem like they are finally calming down.
For a while, we weren’t sure what we were going to do. All the behaviors that we are working on getting Little Bug to stop doing- lining things up, repetitive phrases, and self injuring- were in full force. Now he is at the acting out stage of things. He has been a holy terror and once he is in time out, he cries about Frank.
Unfortunately, there is always change. Soon, Nick will no longer be working. My schedule will be changing. School will be over. For good or bad, these changes will happen. Hopefully, these will be a little easier for him.
For a while, we weren’t sure what we were going to do. All the behaviors that we are working on getting Little Bug to stop doing- lining things up, repetitive phrases, and self injuring- were in full force. Now he is at the acting out stage of things. He has been a holy terror and once he is in time out, he cries about Frank.
Unfortunately, there is always change. Soon, Nick will no longer be working. My schedule will be changing. School will be over. For good or bad, these changes will happen. Hopefully, these will be a little easier for him.
Personally, hectic
Sorry for the lack of posts. Things have been very hectic and stressful for our family- outside from Autism. I have been having some neurological symptoms that we are trying to figure out.
Thursday, March 11, 2010
Safety Issues
One of the scariest things that we experience with Little Bug is a lack of understanding about safety issues. For example, if you blink, he will turn the hot water all the way up in the bathtub and sit under the faucet- never mind the fact that the water is hot enough to cause burns. Cooking is starting to take two people because he doesn’t seem to understand that the stove and oven are hot. He will try to put his hand on the burner because it is red or put is on the front of the oven because “It’s so warm.” Unfortunately, by so warm, it is actually 400 degrees.
He also has begun to actively try to get out of the house. Mind you, we have three locks and a reverse hinge, but he has figured them out. We are now alarming the doors because he can and will get out. At his parent teacher conference yesterday, we found out that when the other students are getting off the bus, he will attempt to run- to the street, to the school, anywhere. Just running.
We don’t know how to get through to him. I can’t convey how agonizing and heart wrenching this is. To know that despite your best attempts, your child doesn’t understand safety boundaries and could be seriously injured or worse. Worse is something I shudder to imagine.
He also has begun to actively try to get out of the house. Mind you, we have three locks and a reverse hinge, but he has figured them out. We are now alarming the doors because he can and will get out. At his parent teacher conference yesterday, we found out that when the other students are getting off the bus, he will attempt to run- to the street, to the school, anywhere. Just running.
We don’t know how to get through to him. I can’t convey how agonizing and heart wrenching this is. To know that despite your best attempts, your child doesn’t understand safety boundaries and could be seriously injured or worse. Worse is something I shudder to imagine.
ASD update
We took Little Bug for his annual review with the Wizard and as per usual, it wasn’t what we expected. The last time we went to see the wizard, all we got was a lecture about our sleeping arrangements (co-sleeping) and not to even consider potty training him until he was 4 or 5.
This time, the wizard told us that we were doing the right thing with the co-sleeping. He also felt that we were right to allow Little Bug to potty train in his own way, however was concerned about Little Bug’s bowel movements.
The wizard seemed less positive on things. Last time, the wizard gave us hope that things were going well and we were doing right. This time, the wizard gave us concerns, worries, and fear.
Going to see the wizard isn’t ever what you expect it to be or what others tell you it will be. Seeing our wizard is usually a mix between frustration and humor. The wizard wanted to evaluate Little Bug’s cognitive skills as we had told him that Little Bug could count beyond 20, count a group of objects without counting aloud, knew his colors, alphabet, and could spell his name.
Of course, none of these things happened with the wizard. When asked to name colors, he named shapes. When asked to count, he refused. When asked how to spell his name, he said, “I no know- too hard!”
Nick and I could only laugh. Once again, we look like pathological liars. We joke that Little Bug is hell bent on having therapy until he is 30. The SLP at his school and everyone who knows Little Bug has seen his language grow to a consistent 5 words (at least) per sentence and now includes self correcting. When he goes to speech, he will only give one word answers- even about his beloved sharks.
This time, the wizard told us that we were doing the right thing with the co-sleeping. He also felt that we were right to allow Little Bug to potty train in his own way, however was concerned about Little Bug’s bowel movements.
The wizard seemed less positive on things. Last time, the wizard gave us hope that things were going well and we were doing right. This time, the wizard gave us concerns, worries, and fear.
Going to see the wizard isn’t ever what you expect it to be or what others tell you it will be. Seeing our wizard is usually a mix between frustration and humor. The wizard wanted to evaluate Little Bug’s cognitive skills as we had told him that Little Bug could count beyond 20, count a group of objects without counting aloud, knew his colors, alphabet, and could spell his name.
Of course, none of these things happened with the wizard. When asked to name colors, he named shapes. When asked to count, he refused. When asked how to spell his name, he said, “I no know- too hard!”
Nick and I could only laugh. Once again, we look like pathological liars. We joke that Little Bug is hell bent on having therapy until he is 30. The SLP at his school and everyone who knows Little Bug has seen his language grow to a consistent 5 words (at least) per sentence and now includes self correcting. When he goes to speech, he will only give one word answers- even about his beloved sharks.
Potty Training Update
It looks like we are going to be changing diapers for a considerable time longer. We took Little Bug to his ASD specialist (a separate update in itself) and The Wizard is concerned that the reason Little Bug isn’t acknowledging that he has gone poop or has to go, is because he is blocked up with poop. There is a special name for this condition, but basically it means the child goes back and forth from constipation to diarrhea, however they are never fully emptying their bowels.
Nick and I was obviously overwhelmed when the doctor began to talk about the surgery that could fix this problem and what tests- x-rays and ultra sounds- would be needed. We were also concerned when the wizard told us that a cause of this could be lack of nutrition. We could only shake our heads along with the wizard when he said that unfortunately a nutritionist would be involved.
Nothing personal against nutritionist, however when you have a child with restrictive requirements about food, nutrition is the tip of the ice berg. Simply eating some days are a battlefield. While Little Bug has gotten more flexible in many ways, food isn’t one of them. He now will only eat plain chicken- there can’t be salt, pepper, or discoloration or grill lines from cooking. If there is any of the above, he will take the time to pick of the marks with grill lines or will rub the chicken on his pants to get the seasoning off. He refuses milk at this point- including chocolate milk. He only wants juice or water. He has begun to become a carb junky- whole wheat, raw pasta, and handfuls of just plain flour are the items he seeks. We have to lock up our flour as he has been sneaking it. Behaviors like these don’t leave much room for nutrition. A good eating day at our house is when he doesn’t find a way to get to the flour while Nick or I are going to the bathroom and he has eaten something other than chicken. At this point, getting 1 serving of fruits or vegetables (that isn’t plain lettuce) is a miracle
Nick and I was obviously overwhelmed when the doctor began to talk about the surgery that could fix this problem and what tests- x-rays and ultra sounds- would be needed. We were also concerned when the wizard told us that a cause of this could be lack of nutrition. We could only shake our heads along with the wizard when he said that unfortunately a nutritionist would be involved.
Nothing personal against nutritionist, however when you have a child with restrictive requirements about food, nutrition is the tip of the ice berg. Simply eating some days are a battlefield. While Little Bug has gotten more flexible in many ways, food isn’t one of them. He now will only eat plain chicken- there can’t be salt, pepper, or discoloration or grill lines from cooking. If there is any of the above, he will take the time to pick of the marks with grill lines or will rub the chicken on his pants to get the seasoning off. He refuses milk at this point- including chocolate milk. He only wants juice or water. He has begun to become a carb junky- whole wheat, raw pasta, and handfuls of just plain flour are the items he seeks. We have to lock up our flour as he has been sneaking it. Behaviors like these don’t leave much room for nutrition. A good eating day at our house is when he doesn’t find a way to get to the flour while Nick or I are going to the bathroom and he has eaten something other than chicken. At this point, getting 1 serving of fruits or vegetables (that isn’t plain lettuce) is a miracle
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
“I mean it”, says Little Bug
Yesterday we went to Ikea and I had to change Little Bug’s diaper. On the way to the bathrooms, there is a play land. At this play land, there are no parents allowed and no diapers. Little Bug kicks up dust every time we go as he desperately wants to play at the play land. I took him to the sign and explained that you have to be all done diapers to play.
He looked at me and said, “I am all done diapers.”
I explained that if he was ready, we can try again when we get to home. We can put on his “pants” (underwear) and he can work on telling us that he needs to go to the potty.
He crossed his arms and said, “No- I am all done diapers.”
When we got home, he looked at the picture of the play land in the catalog. He took off his diaper and put on training pants.
Needless to say, we are going to be doing a ton of laundry- we couldn’t be happier and prouder to do it. He is working so hard. He often pees in his pants and then we walk him to the potty and have him sit on it while we wipe him up and get fresh pants. Nine times out of ten, he pees on the potty as well.
He looked at me and said, “I am all done diapers.”
I explained that if he was ready, we can try again when we get to home. We can put on his “pants” (underwear) and he can work on telling us that he needs to go to the potty.
He crossed his arms and said, “No- I am all done diapers.”
When we got home, he looked at the picture of the play land in the catalog. He took off his diaper and put on training pants.
Needless to say, we are going to be doing a ton of laundry- we couldn’t be happier and prouder to do it. He is working so hard. He often pees in his pants and then we walk him to the potty and have him sit on it while we wipe him up and get fresh pants. Nine times out of ten, he pees on the potty as well.
School Update
Well, we met with Little Bug’s teacher. I was surprised at the conference that she defended the particular peer that Little Bug is reporting problems with. She did agree that this child is assertive and does cause a lot of fights. When we questioned why this child was a peer model, she explained that the child has excellent language skills and was useful in a language preschool. The child does struggle with social skills and this is something that they have explained to the child’s parents and are working on at school.
To be honest, Nick and I were disappointed because we felt like our concerns were a bit minimized. The teacher said not to worry so much because socialization is lifelong thing. She also said that it is probably a good thing that Little Bug acts up only at home- at least he is behaved at school.
Nick and I take his difficult behaviors- crying, whining, screaming, biting, kicking, and arguing- as communication. He is obviously having a hard time with something on Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursdays and this is his way of communicating the difficulties.
We received a call on Friday. The reason the teacher was defensive is that Little Bug is blaming the wrong child. The teacher didn’t teach class and only observed on Thursday. What she found, was that Little Bug doesn’t like the child that he blames for the bullying and they constantly fight- however, they equally start it and finish it. The child who is actually bullying Little Bug- calling him stupid and dumb, as well as physically hurting him- is a child Little Bug calls his friend and wants to come to our house.
Now, instead of one set of problems we have three:
1. Decreasing the aggressive instances with the child he doesn’t like
2. Working on defensive phrases and teaching him to get help when he is bullied
3. Our child idolizes the child who calls him stupid and dumb. The kid who tells him because he is stupid and dumb, they can't be friends.
What do you do when your child loves their bully? When they have only nice things to say about the bully.
To be honest, Nick and I were disappointed because we felt like our concerns were a bit minimized. The teacher said not to worry so much because socialization is lifelong thing. She also said that it is probably a good thing that Little Bug acts up only at home- at least he is behaved at school.
Nick and I take his difficult behaviors- crying, whining, screaming, biting, kicking, and arguing- as communication. He is obviously having a hard time with something on Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursdays and this is his way of communicating the difficulties.
We received a call on Friday. The reason the teacher was defensive is that Little Bug is blaming the wrong child. The teacher didn’t teach class and only observed on Thursday. What she found, was that Little Bug doesn’t like the child that he blames for the bullying and they constantly fight- however, they equally start it and finish it. The child who is actually bullying Little Bug- calling him stupid and dumb, as well as physically hurting him- is a child Little Bug calls his friend and wants to come to our house.
Now, instead of one set of problems we have three:
1. Decreasing the aggressive instances with the child he doesn’t like
2. Working on defensive phrases and teaching him to get help when he is bullied
3. Our child idolizes the child who calls him stupid and dumb. The kid who tells him because he is stupid and dumb, they can't be friends.
What do you do when your child loves their bully? When they have only nice things to say about the bully.
Friday, February 12, 2010
Not sure what to call this
Little Bug goes to a special education program for 3 to 4 year olds that includes peer models. The peer models are usually chosen by the teacher based on their ability to fit into the program and the classroom dynamics. In Little Bug’s class, there is a peer model causing some trouble. This boy is incredibly assertive and Little Bug can’t let things go when someone does something to upset him. They have been in two fights- actual rolling across the playground and class room fights. Little Bug has come home with marks on him from these fights. The teacher insists that Little Bug isn’t starting this and is defending himself.
We are trying to work on this with Little Bug. We talk about how people can have accidents and how we should respond. We also talk about how we can use words in order to get help. Recently, Little Bug has been in quite a mood whenever he gets home from school. With him, it is incredibly difficult to get information in a linear fashion. He still can’t consistently answer who, what, and where questions. Often times, he comes home to tell us that he hurt someone at school. We have called the school and they have confirmed that while there have been altercations; Little Bug is merely defending himself.
Yesterday, we finally got some information from him. He looked at Nick and said, “You aren’t my friend- you weird!” A light bulb went off. After asking him why he said that, he told us that a certain peer model calls him weird and that Little Bug isn’t his friend because he is weird. Apparently, this peer model also says this to a couple of non verbal children in Little Bug’s class. Little Bug talked about how sad and mad this made him. How when this peer model says this, he hits him. (Thank goodness for honesty so we can address this). Little Bug says he doesn’t like school when this peer model is there.
On one side, this seems pretty normal for kids. Kids learn from these altercations and children this age have horrible impulse control. At the same time, this sounds targeted to the just a few children in Little Bug’s class. I am unsure whether I am over reacting and how far to stick my nose in. What kills me is that he doesn’t want to go to school anymore of Wednesday and Thursday. He *loves* school- to the point of being hysterical on Sunday morning because it isn’t Monday yet. This child has taken that away from him and made him feel anxious and unwanted repeatedly. What is the right way to handle this?
We are trying to work on this with Little Bug. We talk about how people can have accidents and how we should respond. We also talk about how we can use words in order to get help. Recently, Little Bug has been in quite a mood whenever he gets home from school. With him, it is incredibly difficult to get information in a linear fashion. He still can’t consistently answer who, what, and where questions. Often times, he comes home to tell us that he hurt someone at school. We have called the school and they have confirmed that while there have been altercations; Little Bug is merely defending himself.
Yesterday, we finally got some information from him. He looked at Nick and said, “You aren’t my friend- you weird!” A light bulb went off. After asking him why he said that, he told us that a certain peer model calls him weird and that Little Bug isn’t his friend because he is weird. Apparently, this peer model also says this to a couple of non verbal children in Little Bug’s class. Little Bug talked about how sad and mad this made him. How when this peer model says this, he hits him. (Thank goodness for honesty so we can address this). Little Bug says he doesn’t like school when this peer model is there.
On one side, this seems pretty normal for kids. Kids learn from these altercations and children this age have horrible impulse control. At the same time, this sounds targeted to the just a few children in Little Bug’s class. I am unsure whether I am over reacting and how far to stick my nose in. What kills me is that he doesn’t want to go to school anymore of Wednesday and Thursday. He *loves* school- to the point of being hysterical on Sunday morning because it isn’t Monday yet. This child has taken that away from him and made him feel anxious and unwanted repeatedly. What is the right way to handle this?
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Lennon John
Little Bug’s name comes from one of my personal heroes- John Lennon. The Beatles and John Lennon specifically have also resonated with me. When I was little, the happy memories I have center around their music- dancing in the kitchen with my mom or standing on my dad’s feet to dance. Theirs were the songs of my childhood. I identify with John Lennon. I understand his family life in a deeply personal way. I love his message of hope and challenging the status quo.
From the time Little Bug was a tiny bug, the Beatles and their solo projects have been a good send. When he wouldn’t sleep, we would turn up Blackbird loud enough to wake the dead and Little Bug would be still and listen- not sleep, but listen. When Little Bug has a hard time with transitions and new places, I sing “Blackbird” and “All You Need is Love” to him. He has discovered “Here comes the Sun”, “Yellow Submarine”, and “Octopus’s Garden”.
In the course of rearranging some furniture, I found a print of John Lennon in the house. I sat with Little Bug and explained that this is where he got his name from. Little Bug took the picture and said, “That’s Lennon John! He mucusinging blackbird!”
Little Bug decided that the print needed to be hung in his room. I grabbed the tape and went to his room to find his eyeballing for a special place for Lennon John. Finally, Little Bug decided above the head of his bed.
I found him in his room yesterday singing “Here Comes the Sun”, laying on his bed and looking at the picture. When I asked him what he was doing, he said, “just watching. I like Lennon John.” All I could do was smile and say that I do too.
From the time Little Bug was a tiny bug, the Beatles and their solo projects have been a good send. When he wouldn’t sleep, we would turn up Blackbird loud enough to wake the dead and Little Bug would be still and listen- not sleep, but listen. When Little Bug has a hard time with transitions and new places, I sing “Blackbird” and “All You Need is Love” to him. He has discovered “Here comes the Sun”, “Yellow Submarine”, and “Octopus’s Garden”.
In the course of rearranging some furniture, I found a print of John Lennon in the house. I sat with Little Bug and explained that this is where he got his name from. Little Bug took the picture and said, “That’s Lennon John! He mucusinging blackbird!”
Little Bug decided that the print needed to be hung in his room. I grabbed the tape and went to his room to find his eyeballing for a special place for Lennon John. Finally, Little Bug decided above the head of his bed.
I found him in his room yesterday singing “Here Comes the Sun”, laying on his bed and looking at the picture. When I asked him what he was doing, he said, “just watching. I like Lennon John.” All I could do was smile and say that I do too.
Are you sure you want to cast the first stone?
The responses to the newpaper on the article I posted floored me. I can’t begin to understand the judgment of the mother. It was suggested that her child wasn’t really disabled. People cried foul that any 4 year old would be on the bus at all- let alone a disabled one. One person even suggested that the mother sent the daughter to school so that she could rest.
My stance on this is very clear- no child should be forgotten. This exact situation is something I fear for Little Bug. When we first signed him up for school, he was slated to go on a bus that would take him to the school for emotionally disabled 18 to 21 year olds. When we called, there wasn’t an apology- just it’s a good thing you called, because we would have sent him to Park Ave.
The judgment of that mother and child infuriated me. Maybe people outside the special education system don’t understand that here they push busing of all kids. Little Bug lives 6 blocks away from his school and rides the bus. We had several meetings about it as Nick and I were concerned with his safety and the ability of the driver to care for him. The school felt that he should ride the bus to encourage independence and to assimilate with his peers.
I was surprised how off track people got with this story. Questioning whether apraxia is really a disability or not and the motives of the mother. Who gives a shit? What matters is that a child was left of the bus for hours. I don’t care whether that child was disabled or not and why they were on the bus- it shouldn’t have happened. This would be terrifying for any child and parent. This would make any parent demand the bus driver’s job and then some.
My stance on this is very clear- no child should be forgotten. This exact situation is something I fear for Little Bug. When we first signed him up for school, he was slated to go on a bus that would take him to the school for emotionally disabled 18 to 21 year olds. When we called, there wasn’t an apology- just it’s a good thing you called, because we would have sent him to Park Ave.
The judgment of that mother and child infuriated me. Maybe people outside the special education system don’t understand that here they push busing of all kids. Little Bug lives 6 blocks away from his school and rides the bus. We had several meetings about it as Nick and I were concerned with his safety and the ability of the driver to care for him. The school felt that he should ride the bus to encourage independence and to assimilate with his peers.
I was surprised how off track people got with this story. Questioning whether apraxia is really a disability or not and the motives of the mother. Who gives a shit? What matters is that a child was left of the bus for hours. I don’t care whether that child was disabled or not and why they were on the bus- it shouldn’t have happened. This would be terrifying for any child and parent. This would make any parent demand the bus driver’s job and then some.
Friday, February 5, 2010
I can't even imagine
Girl, 4 and developmentally disabled, left on school bus for hours
By SHOMARI STONE
KOMO-TV
BAINBRIDGE ISLAND -- A mother is outraged after her developmentally-challenged daughter was left on a school bus for nearly three hours.
"There's anger. There's outrage. There's hurt, just sadness," said the mother, Sarah Rowe.
Rowe put her 4-year-old daughter, Ava Rowe, on a small bus around 11:15 a.m. on Wednesday. The bus driver dropped off two kids at Ordway Elementary School, returned to the bus barn,and forgot all about Ava Rowe, even though the driver was only responsible for three passengers.
The forgotten girl in a car seat on the bus, alone for three hours. The shy young girl has speech apraxia, a neurological disorder that hinders her ability to speak.
When the bus dropped Ava Rowe back at home, her mother noticed something was wrong. Her daughter looked sad.
"She (my daughter) said, 'She (the driver) left. She said, 'I waiting, and waiting, and waiting.' And she told me again and again. She cried, and cried, and cried," Sarah Rowe said. "Eyes all puffy and really upset. With her speech apraxia, she really couldn't verbalize what was going on."
Officials from the Bainbridge Island School District called about an hour later and admitted the driver had made a mistake by failing to follow procedure.
Superintendent Janet Chapel said the bus driver didn't walk through the bus as instructed, but she doesn't know why.
"I don't know if there's an explanation. It certainly did not happen," she said.
And it appears the driver wasn't the only one who didn't follow procedure. Ava Rowe's teacher did not notice she was absent, even though teachers are instructed to check attendance.
"That procedure was not followed," said Sarah Rowe.
Sarah Rowe demands to know why the bus driver still has a job. The driver has been placed on paid administrative leave, but the mother believes she should be fired.
"Absolutely. Now. This second," she said.
District officials expect to wrap up its own investigation into the matter over the next few days.
By SHOMARI STONE
KOMO-TV
BAINBRIDGE ISLAND -- A mother is outraged after her developmentally-challenged daughter was left on a school bus for nearly three hours.
"There's anger. There's outrage. There's hurt, just sadness," said the mother, Sarah Rowe.
Rowe put her 4-year-old daughter, Ava Rowe, on a small bus around 11:15 a.m. on Wednesday. The bus driver dropped off two kids at Ordway Elementary School, returned to the bus barn,and forgot all about Ava Rowe, even though the driver was only responsible for three passengers.
The forgotten girl in a car seat on the bus, alone for three hours. The shy young girl has speech apraxia, a neurological disorder that hinders her ability to speak.
When the bus dropped Ava Rowe back at home, her mother noticed something was wrong. Her daughter looked sad.
"She (my daughter) said, 'She (the driver) left. She said, 'I waiting, and waiting, and waiting.' And she told me again and again. She cried, and cried, and cried," Sarah Rowe said. "Eyes all puffy and really upset. With her speech apraxia, she really couldn't verbalize what was going on."
Officials from the Bainbridge Island School District called about an hour later and admitted the driver had made a mistake by failing to follow procedure.
Superintendent Janet Chapel said the bus driver didn't walk through the bus as instructed, but she doesn't know why.
"I don't know if there's an explanation. It certainly did not happen," she said.
And it appears the driver wasn't the only one who didn't follow procedure. Ava Rowe's teacher did not notice she was absent, even though teachers are instructed to check attendance.
"That procedure was not followed," said Sarah Rowe.
Sarah Rowe demands to know why the bus driver still has a job. The driver has been placed on paid administrative leave, but the mother believes she should be fired.
"Absolutely. Now. This second," she said.
District officials expect to wrap up its own investigation into the matter over the next few days.
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
He can do it!
The newest thing for Little Bug to say is “I can’t do it- too hard!” He now says this at least once a day about any number of things. Personally, this is a pet peeve of mine. Anyone who knows me, knows that I am determined- to the point of bullheadness- and value independence. While we don’t know how independent Little Bug may turn out to be, we want to ensure that he has every chance to be independent.
Little Bug has begun trying to undress himself. At first, shirts were being shimmied down the body in some elaborate dance; however he has finally figured it out. He looked at us and yelled, “I can do it!”
Yes he can- and we always will push for that answer.
Little Bug has begun trying to undress himself. At first, shirts were being shimmied down the body in some elaborate dance; however he has finally figured it out. He looked at us and yelled, “I can do it!”
Yes he can- and we always will push for that answer.
Teaching someone to be a good friend
One of the things we struggle with the most is the lack of empathy. Little Bug has an incredibly hard time understanding that other people feel things completely different from what you do- you know, mind blindness.
A new child joined the school last month and has cried every day since- on the way there, during all portions of preschool, and on the way home. Needless to say, this is a bit much for Little Bug. Every time he gets off the bus, he tells us about the little boy, “E was fying fying fying. I said No fying- be quiet!”
We have told him how to be a good friend- you could say that we practice this. Nick will pretend to cry and I tell Little Bug things he could say to make Nick feel better. We talk about how Little Bug cries sometimes and the things we tell him. No change. Every day, he comes home with stories about how he told E to stop crying.
I don’t know how else to teach this- Nick and I are empathetic and caring- for each other, him, our family, and friends. Little Bug sees this modeled all the time. However, it isn’t picked up. Is there another way to teach this?
A new child joined the school last month and has cried every day since- on the way there, during all portions of preschool, and on the way home. Needless to say, this is a bit much for Little Bug. Every time he gets off the bus, he tells us about the little boy, “E was fying fying fying. I said No fying- be quiet!”
We have told him how to be a good friend- you could say that we practice this. Nick will pretend to cry and I tell Little Bug things he could say to make Nick feel better. We talk about how Little Bug cries sometimes and the things we tell him. No change. Every day, he comes home with stories about how he told E to stop crying.
I don’t know how else to teach this- Nick and I are empathetic and caring- for each other, him, our family, and friends. Little Bug sees this modeled all the time. However, it isn’t picked up. Is there another way to teach this?
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
A Dream is Born
Sometimes, dreams are wonderfully born from a pivotal occurrence in someone’s life. Other times, they grow from steady determination and immersion-with a sprinkle of kismet. For Little Bug, I believe it is that later.
We all know that he has been obsessed with sharks; however he has now added whales, dolphins, turtles, and fishes to his repertoire of marine life. He has basically given up regular kid shows, favoring Discovery and National Geographic specials.
Yesterday, we took him to the aquarium again. It was an amazing trip and the realization of a dream. He watched the sharks and fishes in the tank and began to explain why some were fish and some were sharks. He pointed at a big Sturgeon and explained that it couldn’t be a shark because it only had one dorsal fin.
His light bulb moment came from the Seattle waterfronts new problem- tons and tons of jellyfish that shouldn’t be here and they can’t figure out how to get rid of. Little Bug and I were waiting for Nick on a pier and looking at the water. Suddenly, a bit of pink could be spotted. He yelled, “Jellyfish!” and began to jump up and down.
I watched and waited to see what it was. I was a little nervous that it was trash and he would be disappointed. More and more pink began to become visible along with some white and orange. Finally, a huge jellyfish appeared. Right behind it came a flock of tiny opaque jellies. This was Little Bug’s first experience with sea life outside of an aquarium.
He looked at me and said, “I’ma learn bout sharks.”
“Do you mean watching your movies and reading your books?”
“No! Ima swim with sharks- tiger sharks….whale sharks… bull sharks… jelly fishes…. Squid”
“Do you mean a biologist?”
“Yep. I’ma beelologist!”
Dreams are fragile, fragile things. This is something we weren’t sure we would ever get to experience with Little Bug. Nick and I will move mountains and go to hell and back to make sure he has every opportunity to become a beelologist.
We all know that he has been obsessed with sharks; however he has now added whales, dolphins, turtles, and fishes to his repertoire of marine life. He has basically given up regular kid shows, favoring Discovery and National Geographic specials.
Yesterday, we took him to the aquarium again. It was an amazing trip and the realization of a dream. He watched the sharks and fishes in the tank and began to explain why some were fish and some were sharks. He pointed at a big Sturgeon and explained that it couldn’t be a shark because it only had one dorsal fin.
His light bulb moment came from the Seattle waterfronts new problem- tons and tons of jellyfish that shouldn’t be here and they can’t figure out how to get rid of. Little Bug and I were waiting for Nick on a pier and looking at the water. Suddenly, a bit of pink could be spotted. He yelled, “Jellyfish!” and began to jump up and down.
I watched and waited to see what it was. I was a little nervous that it was trash and he would be disappointed. More and more pink began to become visible along with some white and orange. Finally, a huge jellyfish appeared. Right behind it came a flock of tiny opaque jellies. This was Little Bug’s first experience with sea life outside of an aquarium.
He looked at me and said, “I’ma learn bout sharks.”
“Do you mean watching your movies and reading your books?”
“No! Ima swim with sharks- tiger sharks….whale sharks… bull sharks… jelly fishes…. Squid”
“Do you mean a biologist?”
“Yep. I’ma beelologist!”
Dreams are fragile, fragile things. This is something we weren’t sure we would ever get to experience with Little Bug. Nick and I will move mountains and go to hell and back to make sure he has every opportunity to become a beelologist.
Talk about Pretend Play!
Little Bug has been on a Toy Story kick recently. One of the parts that he finds the most amusing is when Buzz is made to wear and apron and a hat and has a tea party. Recently, he decided that this would be a fun thing to do with his Sharks- Blue and Bull.
He set up his Lightening McQueen table and chairs- making sure that the chairs we opposite so that Blue and Bull could sit facing each other. He gathered his plastic dishes from the kitchen so that he could serve the food. The food he cooked was his cut up veggie set that had been lovingly cooked into a soup in a colander.
He gathered his guests around that table and passed out food. They took turns telling him how tasty the food was and asking how he was doing.
Nick and I stood and watched with our jaws hanging open. He only other version of pretend play is driving cars and trains around or making his sharks and fish swim. This was so far beyond what we thought he could do.
He wasn’t done.
After the sharks were done eating, they had to go home. He disabled the table and put the soup away and then put the chairs in a line. At the front of the line, he put the stairs to his bed. “A bus!” The sharks rode the bus home- all the time telling Little Bug that they had fun and would see him soon.
He set up his Lightening McQueen table and chairs- making sure that the chairs we opposite so that Blue and Bull could sit facing each other. He gathered his plastic dishes from the kitchen so that he could serve the food. The food he cooked was his cut up veggie set that had been lovingly cooked into a soup in a colander.
He gathered his guests around that table and passed out food. They took turns telling him how tasty the food was and asking how he was doing.
Nick and I stood and watched with our jaws hanging open. He only other version of pretend play is driving cars and trains around or making his sharks and fish swim. This was so far beyond what we thought he could do.
He wasn’t done.
After the sharks were done eating, they had to go home. He disabled the table and put the soup away and then put the chairs in a line. At the front of the line, he put the stairs to his bed. “A bus!” The sharks rode the bus home- all the time telling Little Bug that they had fun and would see him soon.
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
Growing Pains
Little Bug keeps advancing in sudden and surprising ways. Some are mundane and others are extraordinary. I wanted to share with you all the exciting things that have happened on our vacation. (By the way, sorry for the delay in posts- Christmas time is crazy personally and professionally.)
• A big boy car seat- yep you read that right. The booster seat kind that he only buckles into. In general, this is the more worrisome to Nick and I as he can get out of it and likes to talk about the “red button” (the seat belt release) every time we’re in the car. We are looking for a cover for it so that he doesn’t escape.
• Pretend play- as in self directed lengthy pretend play. He will set up his trains and have them pretend to go places- the garden, school, and Target. They talk to each other, fight, and play. He describes their emotions- cross, happy, excited, and sad. He will play independently for upwards of half an hour in his imaginary world.
• Big boy bed. He has chosen to sleep in it by himself. While he still makes trips back to our bed, he is pretty good about going to sleep in it and staying there. I am sure the reward goal of a Thomas Blanket has helped him stay motivated.
• A normal childhood fear. Rather than a sensory based fear that is mind boggling, he has become afraid of the dark. While this may seem strange to rejoice in, it is nice to have a straight forward problem that tons of kids (and some adults too) deal with.
• Choosing the play place over his parents. At a local grocery store, they have a play place where the children can be watched while the parents grocery shop. The one caveat is that parents aren’t welcome. He has always wanted to go, but never without us. Finally, one day, he decided that he could do it. He stayed in there for 45 minutes and Nick and I waited for the page of doom. They take your information and page you should your child become out of hand or stink. We didn’t receive a page.
• Last but not least, peeing standing up. He has decided that this is the way to do it. He will not sit on the potty ring anymore- for babies is what he says. Granted, he hasn’t successfully peed this way in the bathroom. He has however peed this way in the bedroom and the kitchen. He also has provided us with a ton of laughter. When he first tried to do it, he stood in front of the toilet and frowned. He looked at me and said, “It’s not working!” Trying to keep a straight face, I explained that he didn’t have to pee. He felt that I was incorrect and took to tapping it- like you would to see if a microphone works- and yelled at it, “WORK! WORK!” I haven’t laughed so hard in my whole life.
This vacation was amazing because it was the first time that he was able to understand the holiday. To me, Christmas is about kids. I know that a lot of people celebrate it for religious reasons, but I personally celebrate it for family and most especially the kids.
Little Bug had a blast. He would open each present and say something nice about it and then say thank you to whomever gave it to him. He wasn’t the greedy hoarding present type, the truly excited and wanting to unwrap everyone’s for them type. Our family had a great time.
The hardest thing about the growing process is the growing pains for the parents. Nick and I found ourselves in tears of happiness and sadness. When things are changing, you notice the impact that the little person has had on your life. We are overjoyed to see this development and truly grateful. We are also a little sad…
• A big boy car seat- yep you read that right. The booster seat kind that he only buckles into. In general, this is the more worrisome to Nick and I as he can get out of it and likes to talk about the “red button” (the seat belt release) every time we’re in the car. We are looking for a cover for it so that he doesn’t escape.
• Pretend play- as in self directed lengthy pretend play. He will set up his trains and have them pretend to go places- the garden, school, and Target. They talk to each other, fight, and play. He describes their emotions- cross, happy, excited, and sad. He will play independently for upwards of half an hour in his imaginary world.
• Big boy bed. He has chosen to sleep in it by himself. While he still makes trips back to our bed, he is pretty good about going to sleep in it and staying there. I am sure the reward goal of a Thomas Blanket has helped him stay motivated.
• A normal childhood fear. Rather than a sensory based fear that is mind boggling, he has become afraid of the dark. While this may seem strange to rejoice in, it is nice to have a straight forward problem that tons of kids (and some adults too) deal with.
• Choosing the play place over his parents. At a local grocery store, they have a play place where the children can be watched while the parents grocery shop. The one caveat is that parents aren’t welcome. He has always wanted to go, but never without us. Finally, one day, he decided that he could do it. He stayed in there for 45 minutes and Nick and I waited for the page of doom. They take your information and page you should your child become out of hand or stink. We didn’t receive a page.
• Last but not least, peeing standing up. He has decided that this is the way to do it. He will not sit on the potty ring anymore- for babies is what he says. Granted, he hasn’t successfully peed this way in the bathroom. He has however peed this way in the bedroom and the kitchen. He also has provided us with a ton of laughter. When he first tried to do it, he stood in front of the toilet and frowned. He looked at me and said, “It’s not working!” Trying to keep a straight face, I explained that he didn’t have to pee. He felt that I was incorrect and took to tapping it- like you would to see if a microphone works- and yelled at it, “WORK! WORK!” I haven’t laughed so hard in my whole life.
This vacation was amazing because it was the first time that he was able to understand the holiday. To me, Christmas is about kids. I know that a lot of people celebrate it for religious reasons, but I personally celebrate it for family and most especially the kids.
Little Bug had a blast. He would open each present and say something nice about it and then say thank you to whomever gave it to him. He wasn’t the greedy hoarding present type, the truly excited and wanting to unwrap everyone’s for them type. Our family had a great time.
The hardest thing about the growing process is the growing pains for the parents. Nick and I found ourselves in tears of happiness and sadness. When things are changing, you notice the impact that the little person has had on your life. We are overjoyed to see this development and truly grateful. We are also a little sad…
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