With any child, you want to make sure you are doing your best to get them to achieve their best. Often times, with ASD and our family, it is hard to figure out what the best for Little Bug is. We have started two therapies- Autism Education and Play Group- and already a vast improvement has shown. We do our own kind of speech therapy at home using sign language, Signing Time, and the PROMPT method that his Autism Education teacher uses.
At times, it seems like too much. I put myself in his shoes and wonder what it would be like if everything I did all day everyday was hard. I wouldn’t want to do it. At the same time, I look at what needs to be done to help him reach his full potential. We are on a high wire without any training or net and are desperately trying to hold on. I worry that we are missing the fun of being on the high wire at times as we have become too focused on getting to the other side. At the same time, if we stop, it is all too easy to fall off.
There are times when this responsibility makes me feel so small and very alone. You can read my other posts to see that Little Bug’s vocabulary is based on how quickly UPS can get signing DVD’s here. We try to be as consistent as possible- as to us that is paramount for Little Bug and has helped him. But we are human and we fail- miserably sometimes.
At the end of the day, I can say that each and every decision we have made has been what we thought was best for Little Bug at that time. That doesn’t mean that it won’t change- people change, relationships change, reality changes, and so we too must change.
One of my goals for this blog is to be able to honest with myself. Another goal is that this can be a resource for other families. The first goal will always be difficult- you deal with things and sometimes that means avoidance, skewing, ranting or accepting. The second goal is far easier. We are working on making a short video of Little Bug’s signs to show people that it is possible. When I heard sign language, at first I rolled my eyes and thought RIGHT. Not because of him, but because of sign language. It is an exacting language and can be difficult for grownups to learn, let alone a mostly non verbal toddler. Little Bug’s best bested us and I know never to doubt, but to always believe him.
Another item we are hoping to post soon is his picture schedule. Little Bug has a hard time with transitions and likes things to be predictable. I feel so bad for him as life never is. What we can predict- in a foggy Ms. Cleo sort of way- is an idea of what each day will look like. We have documented them in pictures and use it to help him with his day. While he still has struggles- he would prefer to never have his diaper changed and not wear cloths- this schedule has helped. It has minimized his sensory issues with going grocery shopping as he needed a concrete idea of where we were going to prepare himself. (I could write a whole blog about the grocery store, advertising and marketing, and SID, but for now, I will leave it.)
I remind myself daily that each day is a new day- of opportunity and chance. Each day, I must do my best- for me and for Little Bug and DN. As at the end of the day, even if it didn’t work out how we intended, we always have his best in mind.
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