Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Okay, now I’m pissed.


Little Bug came into the living room last Tuesday, looked at Nick and I and said, “I will kill you.”
Stunned, we stared at him and then each other.  This isn’t anything we would ever say to him.  When we asked who said this, he told us that his friend, M did.  For those of you who aren’t familiar, M is the kid that was giving Little Bug a hard time by telling him that he is “Stupid, weird, and can’t be friends.”
Little Bug then told us that this same child pulls on the back of his shirt to choke him and knocks him down by pulling on his arm or kicking his legs.   The straw that broke the camel’s back is the fit that Little Bug pitched on Sunday night.  He yelled about not wanting to go to school- without a reason.  When I got him to calm down, he said, “No school… M..N…M… are bad.  They hurt my feelings… They choke me.”  That’s a pretty damn clear picture of what is going on, wouldn’t you say?
We have tried to tell Little Bug to tell the teacher, but he doesn’t get linear conversation really.  You can be talking to him about how we need to go to the doctors and what’s going to happen and he pipes up with something about sharks.  Meanwhile you can be talking about sharks and he will tell you about something that happened four months ago.   It is like he doesn’t understand the flow of time or conversation.  At times, I wonder if everything is part of just the same long day and for him there is no way of differentiating.
He also doesn’t answer questions well.  In order to elicit the information you want, you have to play 20 questions and often times still don’t get it.  He has a hard time giving basic information- who his parents are (two dads), where you live (the blue house),- and more complicated information like what he did at school or what happened at home often times doesn’t come out.  It seems like an associated thing has to happen- maybe he sees something that is similar, for example a train like the ones at school prompted stories about school yesterday.
Anyway, we contacted the teacher.  I can’t tell you how disappointed we were.  I know that if I received information from parents telling me that their kid feels that he is being choked and told that someone would kill him, I would call that parent and schedule a time to meet with them and include the principal.  We instead got a letter offering us to come to her lunch hour to discuss it with her.
Nick and I feel like this isn’t taken seriously.  Yes, we get that they are 3 to 4.  Yes, we get that the children in the class are disabled.  What I don’t understand is how no one sees a kid choke my kid.  What I don’t understand is how my son can come home with bruises on his neck that no one can explain- oh yes, we have pictures.  He had bruises around the front and back of his neck yesterday and yet the note from the school said that he played trains and had no altercations with anyone.  Really?  So, where did the bruises come from?  It’s pretty bad when you check your kid out before sending them to school and check again on the way home.
What pisses me off the most is what this little kid has done.  Little Bug was so excited about going to school.  He talked about “my kids” and “my friends” everyday.  He talked about his teachers.  He would beg to go to school on Sunday because he wanted to play with his friends.  Not anymore.  This excitement, passion, and fun have been stolen.  In their place, fear and anxiety have been left.  Yes, I understand that they are three.  I also understand that this is bullshit. This is bullying- regardless of age and disability.  This cannot be allowed.

1 comment:

abby said...

I'm angry too...I can't believe that the teachers have abdicated their responsibility this way. It is not helpful that Little Bug is disliking school; nor is it helpful (to say the very least) that he is being bullied and abused (because even if the other kid is a 3-4 year old kid with disabilities, that's STILL what this is). Where the heck are the teachers? Their job is to prevent this from happening/step in and do something, for God's sake, when it does. I'm not sure what I'd do as a parent in this stage, but it may be time to go above the teacher.

I'm so sorry for you guys, and for Little Bug in particular.