The past two days have shown an emerging skill- asking for the potty when needed. We had basically given up on potty training for a while. It seems like when parents get really excited and really want something to happen, that is normally when things seem to fall apart. I think children feel pressured and just can’t perform under the stress of the parent expectation. Even if we don’t tell them that we expect it, I believe that through emotion and subtle facial and tonal cues, they can sense the importance and weight of the expectation.
Like I said, we gave up. It wasn’t worth the tears, the screaming, the self injuring, and stress. It wasn’t worth trying to force him to comply because that’s what you do.
So imagine Nick’s shock when on Tuesday Little Bug walked up and said, “Want to sit on potty.”
Little Bug walked into the bathroom, dragged the stepstool over and put the potty ring in. He then took off his pants and diaper and sat on the potty. Nick was reaching for the basket of incentives- toys only played with on the potty- when Little Bug peed. He clapped for himself and smiled. Flushed the toilet and ran to get a diaper and a potty treat.
He has now repeated this feat 4 more times. Each time he asks, he actually needs to go. He sits on the toilet, pees within seconds of sitting, and gets down.
This is wonderful! We’ll see how long it lasts and how often he can do it in a day without interference. We really don’t want to force him into this.
Apparently at school he has been trying to go potty. It was part of his IEP, however because we weren’t having success at home, the school wasn’t trying. Several times during a class, the teacher and aides will prompt the kids who are either potty trained or actively potty training to go to the bathroom. The little kids all go in and go potty. Little Bug feels that he should be allowed to participate and has been going in with the other kids.
He will now be potty training at school- but only if he wants.
Thursday, October 8, 2009
I AM A LIAR (at least my son wants you to think so)
During Little Bug’s parent teacher conference, we talked about one of his new behaviors- he gets stuck repeating the following, “I’m Little Bug. I’m three.” He will say this over and over again.
Nick and I have tried to get him to say “What’s your name?” but this never works out because when we prompt him, he tells us his name. During the conference we explained that we think (operative word here) is his attempt to initiate social interaction, unfortunately he can’t ask what someone’s name is.
(If you know anything about foreshadowing and children, you know where I am going here.)
On the way to the doctor’s office, he looked at me in the car and seemed to really think. His little brows furrowed and he frowned. He opened his mouth and would start to speak and stop. I knew that whatever was going to come out was really hard for him.
Finally, he looked at me and said, “What’s your name?”
A huge smile stretched across my face as tears spilled over. “I’m Daddy Blake. What’s your name?”
We continued this game all the way to the doctor’s office. Where he asked for the nurse's name.
I am happy to be this kind of liar.
Nick and I have tried to get him to say “What’s your name?” but this never works out because when we prompt him, he tells us his name. During the conference we explained that we think (operative word here) is his attempt to initiate social interaction, unfortunately he can’t ask what someone’s name is.
(If you know anything about foreshadowing and children, you know where I am going here.)
On the way to the doctor’s office, he looked at me in the car and seemed to really think. His little brows furrowed and he frowned. He opened his mouth and would start to speak and stop. I knew that whatever was going to come out was really hard for him.
Finally, he looked at me and said, “What’s your name?”
A huge smile stretched across my face as tears spilled over. “I’m Daddy Blake. What’s your name?”
We continued this game all the way to the doctor’s office. Where he asked for the nurse's name.
I am happy to be this kind of liar.
Showered in Praise
“Best behaved in the class…” “Extremely intelligent…” “Outgrow the program…” “Academic path…”
We had Little Bug’s first parent teacher conference and were astounded at just how well he is doing. The teacher stated that he is the best behaved in the class. Some of the other children, including the peer models, are “out of control” and at times he helps bring them back to a normal behavior range through his calm, quiet play.
She also stated that he shows a great aptitude for academics and is concerned that he will outgrow the program before he “graduates”. Speaking of graduating, when we wrote his IEP last year, we were told that he would be in this program for 3 years- when he is 3, 4 and 5. He would be expected to start kindergarten when he is 6 because he wouldn’t be ready emotionally or cognitively until then. He teacher explained that she will have a hard time challenging him until he is 5. 6 would be extreme. She feels that we should start looking into the K1 integrated classrooms now in order to find the best set up for him.
She stated that during class, he has demonstrated that he knows letters, the sounds letters make, and at times, possible word recognition. She has been doing “alphabet” cards in which she shows the circle a card that has the letter- capital and lower case- a word with the letter and the sound the letter makes. Little Bug is always first in line for this and always the first to answer.
We gave her some more supports- a picture schedule for sequencing for potty training- and a “choice box” based that I made based off a commenter’s suggestion (THANK YOU, by the way). For his choice box, I took a regular gift box and wrote “Little Bug’s Choice Box” followed by “FIRST” and “THEN”. I explained to the teacher our concern about his perseveration on trains. Basically, you put a couple of pictures of choices from a picture schedule and tell the child that first they can play trains, but in 15 more minutes, they need to make a choice from the choice box. He was incredibly excited for this yesterday and seemed really interested in it.
The conference went amazingly well. We came away with some great suggestions for supporting Little Bug in his letters and writing- Handwriting without Tears for Toddlers- and learned about a new teacher store.
We are so proud of him and glad that he wasn’t limited by people’s expectations of what a child with ASD should be. One of the specialists seemed surprised at all the things he could do while having ASD, which I have to admit made me a bit agitated. This person kept saying, "Well, it is shocking that he can do this. Normal ASD kids can't do XXX." (BTW, the whole NORMAL ASD KIDS made me laugh.) I think I said four times the following:
“ASD doesn’t mean that someone should have lower expectations of their potential because of their deficits. It doesn't mean that their obvious skills should be written off or abandoned. It means that they have challenges. Those challenges however do not limit the potential. While we spend time working on the deficits and challenges, we need to embrace the child’s strengths and encourage growth there. Many people on the spectrum, like Temple Grandin, have strongly encouraged this and we believe it.”
The teacher thanked us for our passion about our son, our willingness to help her and be his advocate. She stated she was excited for his abilities and that he was a fresh challenge to her teaching skills.
We had Little Bug’s first parent teacher conference and were astounded at just how well he is doing. The teacher stated that he is the best behaved in the class. Some of the other children, including the peer models, are “out of control” and at times he helps bring them back to a normal behavior range through his calm, quiet play.
She also stated that he shows a great aptitude for academics and is concerned that he will outgrow the program before he “graduates”. Speaking of graduating, when we wrote his IEP last year, we were told that he would be in this program for 3 years- when he is 3, 4 and 5. He would be expected to start kindergarten when he is 6 because he wouldn’t be ready emotionally or cognitively until then. He teacher explained that she will have a hard time challenging him until he is 5. 6 would be extreme. She feels that we should start looking into the K1 integrated classrooms now in order to find the best set up for him.
She stated that during class, he has demonstrated that he knows letters, the sounds letters make, and at times, possible word recognition. She has been doing “alphabet” cards in which she shows the circle a card that has the letter- capital and lower case- a word with the letter and the sound the letter makes. Little Bug is always first in line for this and always the first to answer.
We gave her some more supports- a picture schedule for sequencing for potty training- and a “choice box” based that I made based off a commenter’s suggestion (THANK YOU, by the way). For his choice box, I took a regular gift box and wrote “Little Bug’s Choice Box” followed by “FIRST” and “THEN”. I explained to the teacher our concern about his perseveration on trains. Basically, you put a couple of pictures of choices from a picture schedule and tell the child that first they can play trains, but in 15 more minutes, they need to make a choice from the choice box. He was incredibly excited for this yesterday and seemed really interested in it.
The conference went amazingly well. We came away with some great suggestions for supporting Little Bug in his letters and writing- Handwriting without Tears for Toddlers- and learned about a new teacher store.
We are so proud of him and glad that he wasn’t limited by people’s expectations of what a child with ASD should be. One of the specialists seemed surprised at all the things he could do while having ASD, which I have to admit made me a bit agitated. This person kept saying, "Well, it is shocking that he can do this. Normal ASD kids can't do XXX." (BTW, the whole NORMAL ASD KIDS made me laugh.) I think I said four times the following:
“ASD doesn’t mean that someone should have lower expectations of their potential because of their deficits. It doesn't mean that their obvious skills should be written off or abandoned. It means that they have challenges. Those challenges however do not limit the potential. While we spend time working on the deficits and challenges, we need to embrace the child’s strengths and encourage growth there. Many people on the spectrum, like Temple Grandin, have strongly encouraged this and we believe it.”
The teacher thanked us for our passion about our son, our willingness to help her and be his advocate. She stated she was excited for his abilities and that he was a fresh challenge to her teaching skills.
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
New Autism Study
Autism May Be More Common Than Thought
Survey Shows 1 in 91 Children May Have Autism Spectrum Disorder
By Kathleen Doheny
WebMD Health NewsReviewed by Louise Chang, MD
Oct. 5, 2009 -- About 1% of U.S. children, or about one in 91, may have autism or an autism spectrum disorder, according to two new national surveys.
The new estimate is a dramatic increase from the previously accepted number of one in 150. But experts who discussed the findings of the two new surveys -- one released today and the other due out before year's end -- urged caution in interpreting the new information about the developmental disorders.
A new survey by the CDC found that about 1% of U.S. children are affected by an autism spectrum disorder, says Ileana Arias, PhD, deputy director of the CDC.
No further details were available on the CDC survey, due to be released in full later this year.
What do we do for adults? If 1% of children are diagnosed, what services and resources do we have for the over half a million children who become adults?
Survey Shows 1 in 91 Children May Have Autism Spectrum Disorder
By Kathleen Doheny
WebMD Health NewsReviewed by Louise Chang, MD
Oct. 5, 2009 -- About 1% of U.S. children, or about one in 91, may have autism or an autism spectrum disorder, according to two new national surveys.
The new estimate is a dramatic increase from the previously accepted number of one in 150. But experts who discussed the findings of the two new surveys -- one released today and the other due out before year's end -- urged caution in interpreting the new information about the developmental disorders.
A new survey by the CDC found that about 1% of U.S. children are affected by an autism spectrum disorder, says Ileana Arias, PhD, deputy director of the CDC.
No further details were available on the CDC survey, due to be released in full later this year.
What do we do for adults? If 1% of children are diagnosed, what services and resources do we have for the over half a million children who become adults?
ASL update
I give a lot of credit for Little Bug's language to ASL. ASL is what we turned to between diagnosis and services- those horribly long months on wait list after wait list. His first language understanding was ASL- that was where the first phrases, questions, and comments came from. ASL is what gave him a voice. When asked what languages he speaks, we always add ASL because he still uses it.
We are now using ASL for letters. This weekend, Little Bug learned the alphabet in ASL. I am amazed at how quickly he picked it up. We went through it twice, and now he is randomly saying letters and signing the correct sign.
In other updates, he knows the days of the week. How and where he learned this is beyond me, but he does know them. He looked at Nick and I on Sunday and said, "Ride school bus morrow- Mondy." He was right.
He is having a hard time with stimming again. He has begun to go to his room and open and close the doors on his dresser and yell "Open and Shut! Open and Shut!" over and over again. If something is red, brown, green, or blue (Thomas people know where I'm going), he has to sing the Thomas the Tank Engine theme song.
Biting and hitting are creeping up in instances. It seems like this is his way of modulating himself as he is doing it whenever he is feeling something extreme. For example, he and I were wrestling and goofing off yesterday. I was tickling him and he was laughing hysterically- those belly laughs that shake his body and make everyone in the room laugh as well. Well, he bit my face. I didn't get mad or loud, I just said OW! He immediately apologized and we went back to playing. He later was biting himself because he was laughing.
I am thankful that we will be starting OT in 17 days.
We are now using ASL for letters. This weekend, Little Bug learned the alphabet in ASL. I am amazed at how quickly he picked it up. We went through it twice, and now he is randomly saying letters and signing the correct sign.
In other updates, he knows the days of the week. How and where he learned this is beyond me, but he does know them. He looked at Nick and I on Sunday and said, "Ride school bus morrow- Mondy." He was right.
He is having a hard time with stimming again. He has begun to go to his room and open and close the doors on his dresser and yell "Open and Shut! Open and Shut!" over and over again. If something is red, brown, green, or blue (Thomas people know where I'm going), he has to sing the Thomas the Tank Engine theme song.
Biting and hitting are creeping up in instances. It seems like this is his way of modulating himself as he is doing it whenever he is feeling something extreme. For example, he and I were wrestling and goofing off yesterday. I was tickling him and he was laughing hysterically- those belly laughs that shake his body and make everyone in the room laugh as well. Well, he bit my face. I didn't get mad or loud, I just said OW! He immediately apologized and we went back to playing. He later was biting himself because he was laughing.
I am thankful that we will be starting OT in 17 days.
Expected Outcome
In the reading homework of the studies that most insurance companies use to decide medical eligibility, I was shocked. Over and over again, the words “normal child” was used. The studies regarding therapies such as LOVAS, TEACH, PROMPT, LEAP, etc., it appeared that these therapies were often discouraged because the outcome was not of that of a “normal child”.
I cannot understand. If the assumption is that ASD is a lifelong disability as stated in the studies, why are we expecting an outcome of a “normal child”? Shouldn’t the expected outcome be that of less dependence? A chance to learn skills to be as independent as possible?
Maybe we are weird, but we have pretty much accepted that things will not be normal. With this diagnosis come a different path and set of expectations. While we absolutely still hope and push Little Bug to do his best, we have also changed our expectations. We want him to reach his full potential. We want him to be as independent as possible. We want him to have a life defined on his terms as successful.
It seems like information is missing from these studies. How many families were studied from the time the child was diagnosed into adulthood? Have we verified how many children who received any of the denied therapies were less dependent on adult care? Have we looked at how children grew into adulthood after these therapies and were able to have a job?
I cannot understand. If the assumption is that ASD is a lifelong disability as stated in the studies, why are we expecting an outcome of a “normal child”? Shouldn’t the expected outcome be that of less dependence? A chance to learn skills to be as independent as possible?
Maybe we are weird, but we have pretty much accepted that things will not be normal. With this diagnosis come a different path and set of expectations. While we absolutely still hope and push Little Bug to do his best, we have also changed our expectations. We want him to reach his full potential. We want him to be as independent as possible. We want him to have a life defined on his terms as successful.
It seems like information is missing from these studies. How many families were studied from the time the child was diagnosed into adulthood? Have we verified how many children who received any of the denied therapies were less dependent on adult care? Have we looked at how children grew into adulthood after these therapies and were able to have a job?
Friday, October 2, 2009
HOLY CROW!
I want to be "hopefully cautious" when I blog about this. Little Bug is exhibiting some interesting skills:
-Letter recognition- 19 of them baby!
-Possible word recognition- open, up, no
-Writing- to date, he has written, correctly and untaught- "N" "O" "A" "C"
I don't want to get to excited.... oh, forget! We are thrilled! What we do with these new found skills is a bit beyond us, but we will figure it out.
-Letter recognition- 19 of them baby!
-Possible word recognition- open, up, no
-Writing- to date, he has written, correctly and untaught- "N" "O" "A" "C"
I don't want to get to excited.... oh, forget! We are thrilled! What we do with these new found skills is a bit beyond us, but we will figure it out.
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