Developmental Milestones

At our house, we believe that milestones and developmental charts are better left unread. They are great measuring tapes, but not something to dwell on or constantly consult. For one reason, Little Bug has too many discrepancies- his vocabulary is probably at close to 100 word and word approximations and yet he can do 48 piece jigsaw puzzles. Secondly, for us, it is painful at times to be confronted with the delays.
We do believe in checking in and we wanted to share that with you.

Motor Skills
feed himself (with some spilling)- does this with his hands mostly
open doors- are you kidding? We have an alarm system and a suspension rod on the window to keep him in. ‘Nough said.
hold a glass in one hand- not really. He is clumsy at this
hold a crayon well- he has mastered the “appropriate” technique
wash and dry hands by himself- not so much. If allowed, the whole bathroom would be wet, soap would be on the floor, the ceiling, and the dog, and somehow his hands would still be dirty.
fold paper, if shown how- never tried
build a tower of 54 blocks- the frustration level is strong in this one
throw a ball overhead- and over handed, behind his back, etc.
try to catch a large ball- can catch a ball
put on shoes (but not tie laces)
dress herself with help- nope, but he can take off his pants and diaper
use the toilet with some help- not even a blip on the radar
walk up steps, alternating feet
walk on tiptoes if shown how- he is a toe walker at times
walk in a straight line
kick a ball forward- he can dribble a soccer ball
jump with both feet
pedal a tricycle- doesn’t really understand the concept.

Sensory and Thinking Skills
recognize sounds in the environment
pay attention for about 3 minutes- if it is in an interesting topic
remember what happened yesterday- he can seem to remember what happened months ago at times and at other times seems to have no short term memory
know what is food and what is not food- he knows. Whether he chooses to limit himself to food only options is a different story
know some numbers (but not always in the right order)- We’re just starting this
know where things usually belong
understand what "1" is
understand "now," "soon," and "later"- no concept of time
substitute one object for another in pretend play (as in pretending a block is a "car")- has done this once a year ago, but never since
laugh at silly ideas (like "milking" a dog)- too literal for this
look through a book alone- if you want said book to have pages, then this isn’t an option
match circles and squares- He is a rock star at matching
match an object to a picture of that object
match objects that have same function (as in putting a cup and plate together)- We’re working on it
count 2 to 3 objects- Just started
avoid some dangers, like a hot stove or a moving car- Absolutely no fear or concept of danger.
follow simple one-step commands- selectively, but yes he can.

Language and Social Skills
use 3-5 word sentences- not yet
ask short questions- every once in a while uses the question intonation at the end of a sentence, but no 5 W, H, or E questions.
use plurals ("dogs," "cars," "hats")- not really as they are interchangeable to him- one cat can be a ditty, ditties, cats, cat.
name at least 10 familiar objects
repeat simple rhymes- Uh, no, but does scripting from movies count?
name at least one color correctly- he understands his colors
imitate housework or help with simple tasks- he loves to mop and vacuum.
ask to use the toilet almost every time- not even a blip on the radar
enjoy being read to
talk about feelings and mental states (e.g., remembering)- Nope
demonstrate some shame when caught in a wrongdoing- definitely Not!
try to make others laugh- He is a clown
play spontaneously with two or three children in a group- Nope
assign roles in pretend social play ("You be mommy;" "I be daddy")- Uh, no.
know her first and last name- Not really. He will repeat it and every once in a while refer to himself in third person as Yenna, but for the most part, he is baby.
understand "I," "you," "he," and "she"- nope
believe everything centers around him ("if I hide my eyes, no one will see me")
answer whether she is a boy or girl- Nope, but we are an extremely a typical family- in case you are just joining the program, I am a female to male transsexual and Nick does drag. In general, we don’t limit Little Bug’s interests to what is appropriate according to gender binary and also don’t tell him he’s a good boy, etc. Just not part of how we think.

Do you ever realize that something amazing has happened, but happened so slowly that you couldn’t perceive the change? One day, you wake up and are confronted with a miracle of some sort. Sometimes, every day mundane things that to most people aren’t miracles- like a flower blooming on a winter day, a phone call from a person you thought was lost. Other times, they are really big miracles. Yesterday was one of those days. We looked at Little Bug and realized the growth that had happened so slowly was tremendous. He is now using two word sentences without prompting most of the time. He was describing items and demonstrating that he understood the difference between things and what they are used for. Again, to many people this may be a mundane thing. To us, it was amazing. Suddenly, we feel capable and confident. We feel like being hopeful in certain areas and in small doses is warranted. Some of the fear is gone.

People often say that having a child with special needs is like a marathon- pace yourself. What they neglect to say is that while marathons can be grueling, frustrating, daunting, and ugly at certain points, you often get a second, third or fourth wind. Something happens where your legs just keep going even when your brain says they shouldn’t. That is what this is for us. A second wind. A welcome reminder of what we are working for and what we are investing ourselves into.