Yesterday we went to Ikea and I had to change Little Bug’s diaper. On the way to the bathrooms, there is a play land. At this play land, there are no parents allowed and no diapers. Little Bug kicks up dust every time we go as he desperately wants to play at the play land. I took him to the sign and explained that you have to be all done diapers to play.
He looked at me and said, “I am all done diapers.”
I explained that if he was ready, we can try again when we get to home. We can put on his “pants” (underwear) and he can work on telling us that he needs to go to the potty.
He crossed his arms and said, “No- I am all done diapers.”
When we got home, he looked at the picture of the play land in the catalog. He took off his diaper and put on training pants.
Needless to say, we are going to be doing a ton of laundry- we couldn’t be happier and prouder to do it. He is working so hard. He often pees in his pants and then we walk him to the potty and have him sit on it while we wipe him up and get fresh pants. Nine times out of ten, he pees on the potty as well.
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
School Update
Well, we met with Little Bug’s teacher. I was surprised at the conference that she defended the particular peer that Little Bug is reporting problems with. She did agree that this child is assertive and does cause a lot of fights. When we questioned why this child was a peer model, she explained that the child has excellent language skills and was useful in a language preschool. The child does struggle with social skills and this is something that they have explained to the child’s parents and are working on at school.
To be honest, Nick and I were disappointed because we felt like our concerns were a bit minimized. The teacher said not to worry so much because socialization is lifelong thing. She also said that it is probably a good thing that Little Bug acts up only at home- at least he is behaved at school.
Nick and I take his difficult behaviors- crying, whining, screaming, biting, kicking, and arguing- as communication. He is obviously having a hard time with something on Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursdays and this is his way of communicating the difficulties.
We received a call on Friday. The reason the teacher was defensive is that Little Bug is blaming the wrong child. The teacher didn’t teach class and only observed on Thursday. What she found, was that Little Bug doesn’t like the child that he blames for the bullying and they constantly fight- however, they equally start it and finish it. The child who is actually bullying Little Bug- calling him stupid and dumb, as well as physically hurting him- is a child Little Bug calls his friend and wants to come to our house.
Now, instead of one set of problems we have three:
1. Decreasing the aggressive instances with the child he doesn’t like
2. Working on defensive phrases and teaching him to get help when he is bullied
3. Our child idolizes the child who calls him stupid and dumb. The kid who tells him because he is stupid and dumb, they can't be friends.
What do you do when your child loves their bully? When they have only nice things to say about the bully.
To be honest, Nick and I were disappointed because we felt like our concerns were a bit minimized. The teacher said not to worry so much because socialization is lifelong thing. She also said that it is probably a good thing that Little Bug acts up only at home- at least he is behaved at school.
Nick and I take his difficult behaviors- crying, whining, screaming, biting, kicking, and arguing- as communication. He is obviously having a hard time with something on Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursdays and this is his way of communicating the difficulties.
We received a call on Friday. The reason the teacher was defensive is that Little Bug is blaming the wrong child. The teacher didn’t teach class and only observed on Thursday. What she found, was that Little Bug doesn’t like the child that he blames for the bullying and they constantly fight- however, they equally start it and finish it. The child who is actually bullying Little Bug- calling him stupid and dumb, as well as physically hurting him- is a child Little Bug calls his friend and wants to come to our house.
Now, instead of one set of problems we have three:
1. Decreasing the aggressive instances with the child he doesn’t like
2. Working on defensive phrases and teaching him to get help when he is bullied
3. Our child idolizes the child who calls him stupid and dumb. The kid who tells him because he is stupid and dumb, they can't be friends.
What do you do when your child loves their bully? When they have only nice things to say about the bully.
Friday, February 12, 2010
Not sure what to call this
Little Bug goes to a special education program for 3 to 4 year olds that includes peer models. The peer models are usually chosen by the teacher based on their ability to fit into the program and the classroom dynamics. In Little Bug’s class, there is a peer model causing some trouble. This boy is incredibly assertive and Little Bug can’t let things go when someone does something to upset him. They have been in two fights- actual rolling across the playground and class room fights. Little Bug has come home with marks on him from these fights. The teacher insists that Little Bug isn’t starting this and is defending himself.
We are trying to work on this with Little Bug. We talk about how people can have accidents and how we should respond. We also talk about how we can use words in order to get help. Recently, Little Bug has been in quite a mood whenever he gets home from school. With him, it is incredibly difficult to get information in a linear fashion. He still can’t consistently answer who, what, and where questions. Often times, he comes home to tell us that he hurt someone at school. We have called the school and they have confirmed that while there have been altercations; Little Bug is merely defending himself.
Yesterday, we finally got some information from him. He looked at Nick and said, “You aren’t my friend- you weird!” A light bulb went off. After asking him why he said that, he told us that a certain peer model calls him weird and that Little Bug isn’t his friend because he is weird. Apparently, this peer model also says this to a couple of non verbal children in Little Bug’s class. Little Bug talked about how sad and mad this made him. How when this peer model says this, he hits him. (Thank goodness for honesty so we can address this). Little Bug says he doesn’t like school when this peer model is there.
On one side, this seems pretty normal for kids. Kids learn from these altercations and children this age have horrible impulse control. At the same time, this sounds targeted to the just a few children in Little Bug’s class. I am unsure whether I am over reacting and how far to stick my nose in. What kills me is that he doesn’t want to go to school anymore of Wednesday and Thursday. He *loves* school- to the point of being hysterical on Sunday morning because it isn’t Monday yet. This child has taken that away from him and made him feel anxious and unwanted repeatedly. What is the right way to handle this?
We are trying to work on this with Little Bug. We talk about how people can have accidents and how we should respond. We also talk about how we can use words in order to get help. Recently, Little Bug has been in quite a mood whenever he gets home from school. With him, it is incredibly difficult to get information in a linear fashion. He still can’t consistently answer who, what, and where questions. Often times, he comes home to tell us that he hurt someone at school. We have called the school and they have confirmed that while there have been altercations; Little Bug is merely defending himself.
Yesterday, we finally got some information from him. He looked at Nick and said, “You aren’t my friend- you weird!” A light bulb went off. After asking him why he said that, he told us that a certain peer model calls him weird and that Little Bug isn’t his friend because he is weird. Apparently, this peer model also says this to a couple of non verbal children in Little Bug’s class. Little Bug talked about how sad and mad this made him. How when this peer model says this, he hits him. (Thank goodness for honesty so we can address this). Little Bug says he doesn’t like school when this peer model is there.
On one side, this seems pretty normal for kids. Kids learn from these altercations and children this age have horrible impulse control. At the same time, this sounds targeted to the just a few children in Little Bug’s class. I am unsure whether I am over reacting and how far to stick my nose in. What kills me is that he doesn’t want to go to school anymore of Wednesday and Thursday. He *loves* school- to the point of being hysterical on Sunday morning because it isn’t Monday yet. This child has taken that away from him and made him feel anxious and unwanted repeatedly. What is the right way to handle this?
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Lennon John
Little Bug’s name comes from one of my personal heroes- John Lennon. The Beatles and John Lennon specifically have also resonated with me. When I was little, the happy memories I have center around their music- dancing in the kitchen with my mom or standing on my dad’s feet to dance. Theirs were the songs of my childhood. I identify with John Lennon. I understand his family life in a deeply personal way. I love his message of hope and challenging the status quo.
From the time Little Bug was a tiny bug, the Beatles and their solo projects have been a good send. When he wouldn’t sleep, we would turn up Blackbird loud enough to wake the dead and Little Bug would be still and listen- not sleep, but listen. When Little Bug has a hard time with transitions and new places, I sing “Blackbird” and “All You Need is Love” to him. He has discovered “Here comes the Sun”, “Yellow Submarine”, and “Octopus’s Garden”.
In the course of rearranging some furniture, I found a print of John Lennon in the house. I sat with Little Bug and explained that this is where he got his name from. Little Bug took the picture and said, “That’s Lennon John! He mucusinging blackbird!”
Little Bug decided that the print needed to be hung in his room. I grabbed the tape and went to his room to find his eyeballing for a special place for Lennon John. Finally, Little Bug decided above the head of his bed.
I found him in his room yesterday singing “Here Comes the Sun”, laying on his bed and looking at the picture. When I asked him what he was doing, he said, “just watching. I like Lennon John.” All I could do was smile and say that I do too.
From the time Little Bug was a tiny bug, the Beatles and their solo projects have been a good send. When he wouldn’t sleep, we would turn up Blackbird loud enough to wake the dead and Little Bug would be still and listen- not sleep, but listen. When Little Bug has a hard time with transitions and new places, I sing “Blackbird” and “All You Need is Love” to him. He has discovered “Here comes the Sun”, “Yellow Submarine”, and “Octopus’s Garden”.
In the course of rearranging some furniture, I found a print of John Lennon in the house. I sat with Little Bug and explained that this is where he got his name from. Little Bug took the picture and said, “That’s Lennon John! He mucusinging blackbird!”
Little Bug decided that the print needed to be hung in his room. I grabbed the tape and went to his room to find his eyeballing for a special place for Lennon John. Finally, Little Bug decided above the head of his bed.
I found him in his room yesterday singing “Here Comes the Sun”, laying on his bed and looking at the picture. When I asked him what he was doing, he said, “just watching. I like Lennon John.” All I could do was smile and say that I do too.
Are you sure you want to cast the first stone?
The responses to the newpaper on the article I posted floored me. I can’t begin to understand the judgment of the mother. It was suggested that her child wasn’t really disabled. People cried foul that any 4 year old would be on the bus at all- let alone a disabled one. One person even suggested that the mother sent the daughter to school so that she could rest.
My stance on this is very clear- no child should be forgotten. This exact situation is something I fear for Little Bug. When we first signed him up for school, he was slated to go on a bus that would take him to the school for emotionally disabled 18 to 21 year olds. When we called, there wasn’t an apology- just it’s a good thing you called, because we would have sent him to Park Ave.
The judgment of that mother and child infuriated me. Maybe people outside the special education system don’t understand that here they push busing of all kids. Little Bug lives 6 blocks away from his school and rides the bus. We had several meetings about it as Nick and I were concerned with his safety and the ability of the driver to care for him. The school felt that he should ride the bus to encourage independence and to assimilate with his peers.
I was surprised how off track people got with this story. Questioning whether apraxia is really a disability or not and the motives of the mother. Who gives a shit? What matters is that a child was left of the bus for hours. I don’t care whether that child was disabled or not and why they were on the bus- it shouldn’t have happened. This would be terrifying for any child and parent. This would make any parent demand the bus driver’s job and then some.
My stance on this is very clear- no child should be forgotten. This exact situation is something I fear for Little Bug. When we first signed him up for school, he was slated to go on a bus that would take him to the school for emotionally disabled 18 to 21 year olds. When we called, there wasn’t an apology- just it’s a good thing you called, because we would have sent him to Park Ave.
The judgment of that mother and child infuriated me. Maybe people outside the special education system don’t understand that here they push busing of all kids. Little Bug lives 6 blocks away from his school and rides the bus. We had several meetings about it as Nick and I were concerned with his safety and the ability of the driver to care for him. The school felt that he should ride the bus to encourage independence and to assimilate with his peers.
I was surprised how off track people got with this story. Questioning whether apraxia is really a disability or not and the motives of the mother. Who gives a shit? What matters is that a child was left of the bus for hours. I don’t care whether that child was disabled or not and why they were on the bus- it shouldn’t have happened. This would be terrifying for any child and parent. This would make any parent demand the bus driver’s job and then some.
Friday, February 5, 2010
I can't even imagine
Girl, 4 and developmentally disabled, left on school bus for hours
By SHOMARI STONE
KOMO-TV
BAINBRIDGE ISLAND -- A mother is outraged after her developmentally-challenged daughter was left on a school bus for nearly three hours.
"There's anger. There's outrage. There's hurt, just sadness," said the mother, Sarah Rowe.
Rowe put her 4-year-old daughter, Ava Rowe, on a small bus around 11:15 a.m. on Wednesday. The bus driver dropped off two kids at Ordway Elementary School, returned to the bus barn,and forgot all about Ava Rowe, even though the driver was only responsible for three passengers.
The forgotten girl in a car seat on the bus, alone for three hours. The shy young girl has speech apraxia, a neurological disorder that hinders her ability to speak.
When the bus dropped Ava Rowe back at home, her mother noticed something was wrong. Her daughter looked sad.
"She (my daughter) said, 'She (the driver) left. She said, 'I waiting, and waiting, and waiting.' And she told me again and again. She cried, and cried, and cried," Sarah Rowe said. "Eyes all puffy and really upset. With her speech apraxia, she really couldn't verbalize what was going on."
Officials from the Bainbridge Island School District called about an hour later and admitted the driver had made a mistake by failing to follow procedure.
Superintendent Janet Chapel said the bus driver didn't walk through the bus as instructed, but she doesn't know why.
"I don't know if there's an explanation. It certainly did not happen," she said.
And it appears the driver wasn't the only one who didn't follow procedure. Ava Rowe's teacher did not notice she was absent, even though teachers are instructed to check attendance.
"That procedure was not followed," said Sarah Rowe.
Sarah Rowe demands to know why the bus driver still has a job. The driver has been placed on paid administrative leave, but the mother believes she should be fired.
"Absolutely. Now. This second," she said.
District officials expect to wrap up its own investigation into the matter over the next few days.
By SHOMARI STONE
KOMO-TV
BAINBRIDGE ISLAND -- A mother is outraged after her developmentally-challenged daughter was left on a school bus for nearly three hours.
"There's anger. There's outrage. There's hurt, just sadness," said the mother, Sarah Rowe.
Rowe put her 4-year-old daughter, Ava Rowe, on a small bus around 11:15 a.m. on Wednesday. The bus driver dropped off two kids at Ordway Elementary School, returned to the bus barn,and forgot all about Ava Rowe, even though the driver was only responsible for three passengers.
The forgotten girl in a car seat on the bus, alone for three hours. The shy young girl has speech apraxia, a neurological disorder that hinders her ability to speak.
When the bus dropped Ava Rowe back at home, her mother noticed something was wrong. Her daughter looked sad.
"She (my daughter) said, 'She (the driver) left. She said, 'I waiting, and waiting, and waiting.' And she told me again and again. She cried, and cried, and cried," Sarah Rowe said. "Eyes all puffy and really upset. With her speech apraxia, she really couldn't verbalize what was going on."
Officials from the Bainbridge Island School District called about an hour later and admitted the driver had made a mistake by failing to follow procedure.
Superintendent Janet Chapel said the bus driver didn't walk through the bus as instructed, but she doesn't know why.
"I don't know if there's an explanation. It certainly did not happen," she said.
And it appears the driver wasn't the only one who didn't follow procedure. Ava Rowe's teacher did not notice she was absent, even though teachers are instructed to check attendance.
"That procedure was not followed," said Sarah Rowe.
Sarah Rowe demands to know why the bus driver still has a job. The driver has been placed on paid administrative leave, but the mother believes she should be fired.
"Absolutely. Now. This second," she said.
District officials expect to wrap up its own investigation into the matter over the next few days.
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