Monday, December 5, 2011

Difficult conversations

The challenges at holidays have not gotten any better for Little Bug.  A majority of our time at family gatherings is spent with one person either on a walk, in a quiet spot- an upstairs bedroom, an attic, or one time a garage- with Little Bug while the other person attempts to enjoy the family function.  Unfortunately, no one *really* gets a chance to enjoy our time.  After 5 years of attempting this, we have had to draw the line and have some difficult conversations.

Some have gone really well- totally understanding with alternate solutions like a post-Thanksgiving leftover fest. Others…. Not so much.  For some reason, this is taken as an insinuation that we hate our family or don’t have the time for them.  It seems like as Little Bug ages people expect him to somehow grow out his Autism.  That at the age of 5, large gatherings would get better. That at the age of 5, loud noises and complicated would be welcomed.

I understand that, at times, people who aren’t around Little Bug forget that he has Autism.  That only lasts a little while until the verbal stimming, echolalia, and repetitive motions are noticed.  It seems that as Little Bug gets older the expectations grow with his age but not in as appropriate for his abilities in areas like communication, patience, etc.  We simply had to make a good decision for our family.  This is something we are working on and it is very difficult to do. It is a times to challenge to advocate for yourself.  As part of our 18 month journey, we have had to really focus on doing this. On accepting things are they are and creating realistic expectations. 

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