This is wonderful!

Okay, now I’m pissed.

Little Bug came into the living room last Tuesday, looked at Nick and I and said, “I will kill you.”

Stunned, we stared at him and then each other.  This isn’t anything we would ever say to him.  When we asked who said this, he told us that his friend, M did.  For those of you who aren’t familiar, M is the kid that was giving Little Bug a hard time by telling him that he is “Stupid, weird, and can’t be friends.”

Little Bug then told us that this same child pulls on the back of his shirt to choke him and knocks him down by pulling on his arm or kicking his legs.   The straw that broke the camel’s back is the fit that Little Bug pitched on Sunday night.  He yelled about not wanting to go to school- without a reason.  When I got him to calm down, he said, “No school… M..N…M… are bad.  They hurt my feelings… They choke me.”  That’s a pretty damn clear picture of what is going on, wouldn’t you say?

We have tried to tell Little Bug to tell the teacher, but he doesn’t get linear conversation really.  You can be talking to him about how we need to go to the doctors and what’s going to happen and he pipes up with something about sharks.  Meanwhile you can be talking about sharks and he will tell you about something that happened four months ago.   It is like he doesn’t understand the flow of time or conversation.  At times, I wonder if everything is part of just the same long day and for him there is no way of differentiating.

He also doesn’t answer questions well.  In order to elicit the information you want, you have to play 20 questions and often times still don’t get it.  He has a hard time giving basic information- who his parents are (two dads), where you live (the blue house),- and more complicated information like what he did at school or what happened at home often times doesn’t come out.  It seems like an associated thing has to happen- maybe he sees something that is similar, for example a train like the ones at school prompted stories about school yesterday.

Anyway, we contacted the teacher.  I can’t tell you how disappointed we were.  I know that if I received information from parents telling me that their kid feels that he is being choked and told that someone would kill him, I would call that parent and schedule a time to meet with them and include the principal.  We instead got a letter offering us to come to her lunch hour to discuss it with her.

Nick and I feel like this isn’t taken seriously.  Yes, we get that they are 3 to 4.  Yes, we get that the children in the class are disabled.  What I don’t understand is how no one sees a kid choke my kid.  What I don’t understand is how my son can come home with bruises on his neck that no one can explain- oh yes, we have pictures.  He had bruises around the front and back of his neck yesterday and yet the note from the school said that he played trains and had no altercations with anyone.  Really?  So, where did the bruises come from?  It’s pretty bad when you check your kid out before sending them to school and check again on the way home.

What pisses me off the most is what this little kid has done.  Little Bug was so excited about going to school.  He talked about “my kids” and “my friends” everyday.  He talked about his teachers.  He would beg to go to school on Sunday because he wanted to play with his friends.  Not anymore.  This excitement, passion, and fun have been stolen.  In their place, fear and anxiety have been left.  Yes, I understand that they are three.  I also understand that this is bullshit. This is bullying- regardless of age and disability.  This cannot be allowed.

Stomach update

Last Monday, we took Little Bug to a GI doctor to follow up on the wizard’s suspicion that he wasn’t actually emptying his bowels when going to the bathroom.  He took an X-ray (which took two people to hold Little Bug down for) and confirm that his entire large intestine was filled with crap.  He gave us instructions to have Little Bug drink 3 hours of magnesium citrate mixed with soda or juice twice a day.

If you don’t know, magnesium citrate is a saline based laxative that comes in lemon lime flavor.  It is beyond disgusting.  Little Bug did a great job drinking the first one; however the second dose took three hours to get into him.  Unfortunately, none of this worked.  We then had to try another laxative the next day- which worked.

Little Bug seem to take it in stride.  He was pretty stoked about getting to eat as many popsicles as he could and drinking all the soda he could get his tiny hands on.  He is slightly suspicious of us.  Prior to drinking anything we give him, he wants us to try it.  He knows that we the laxatives in his drinks to get him to take it and also knows that we won’t drink them if they have his medicine in them.  This kid is too smart sometimes.

The doctor didn’t give us any real idea of how we can prevent this- other than daily laxatives.  While he wants Little Bug to sit on the toilet three times a day, he did say that it could take anywhere from 6 to 12 months in order for the large intestine to shrink back to the normal size and potty training in that time may not go well as there is a lack of body awareness there due to the size of the large intestine.

Anything you want?

Little Bug has a new game.  This is a wonderful game based entirely on pretend play.  Its simply called “Anything you want?”

Little Bug will stand at the edge of our kitchen next to our fridge- where the linoleum ends and carpet begins.  He stands and asks, “Anything you want?”

After pausing to think, I order,  “I want a coffee please.”

“Anything you want to eat?”

“No thank you.”

“You want a salad and fridees.  Give me 2…2…4…4…5 please.”  (Those are his outrageous prices.)

He takes the money and puts it in his drawer- the letter ‘M’ on the fridge.  He then runs over to the kitchen table and cooks.  He pretends to chop lettuce and tomatoes.  Then he shreds cheese and begin to fry the fridees.  Finally, he makes my coffee.

Carefully, he makes three separate trips back to me to give me my food.  Finally, he looks me in the eye and says, “Thanks!”

He runs behind me and pushes me into the kitchen, prompting, “Anything you want?”  I know now that it is my turn to take his order.

So far, he will only play this game with me.  He won’t let other people watch, so we are working on gradually getting him to let Nick watch and then play.  Hopefully, we can then generalize this pretend play to other types of pretend play.  He has begun to make up pretend stories about his trains and sharks; however no one else can participate in them.

45 minutes

That is how long it takes Little Bug to get his pajamas on by himself. With the right choices, these can be the best 45 minutes of our day. We could rush and do it for him.  We could grow impatient, telling him how it isn't buttoned right and how we need to go to bed. It could take 2 minutes.

We like that it takes 45 minutes. He grabs his pants and struggles to pull them- ensuring that they aren’t twisted and no tags are contained- easily 5 minutes. He has to situate his shirt on the floor so that it is in front of him and upside down- the head is by his feet (give about 3 minutes for this). He then puts his hands in the sleeves and flips the shirt over his head and onto his back. Allow 3 to 5 minutes for celebration.

Now the tricky part- buttons! The shirt has four buttons and each takes about 5 minutes. He must do them himself- he doesn’t want our help, he wants our attention. We patiently watch him do struggle to do the buttons. He talks to himself and chews his lip as he gets frustrated. Right before he melts down, he gets it. 

Finally, success. We jump and celebrate for 5 minutes… then we go to bed. These are wonderful moments.