My son the goat

In the past week, Little Bug has eaten or chewed on the following:

• ·         His shirts (every day) to the point of ruining them
• ·         Chuggington trains
• ·         Forks
• ·         Spoons
• ·         Pencils
• ·         Cars
• ·         Rocks
• ·         A found staple (!)
• ·         Sticks
• ·         Stuffed Animals
• ·         Many things that I have yet to discover

Little Bug has pica as well as a persistent need for oral input.  This means that he without understanding the consequences has chewed all of the above and much, much more.  He has chewed our furniture and blankets.  One time he found a piece of glass at the beach and put it in his mouth to chew.  Anything that can fit in his mouth will go in his mouth.

Because of this, Little Bug has chipped 7 teeth.  We need to get him to the dentist (again) to ensure that there isn’t any critical damage to his teeth.  Right now we are talking about baby teeth, but what do we do when they are adult teeth?

We are at a loss with this one.  He has ready access to gum, chewing tubes, Ps and Qs, and we just ordered a chewing bracelet.  We are going to see if his teacher will allow him to have gum in class to curtail some of the chewing.  Currently he does have a chewing tube at school, but I am wondering if he needs prompting to use it.  If you have any solutions or suggestions- no matter how crazy you may think they are, please send them our way.

The final move

You would think that after moving three times previously with Little Bug, this would be something that we were prepared for.  You would hope that we would be able to know when it was going to be too much.  You would bet that since he is verbal, he would be able to tell us both of those things.  You would be wrong on all three counts.

Just because you have done something that was hard previously doesn't mean the next time will be easier. Especially when it comes to change.  It mainly just means that there will be a next time.  For Little Bug, moving has always been hard on him.  He doesn't like the boxes and people touching his stuff.  He doesn't like having to let toys go for a little while until we get into the new house.  He also has a hard time verbalizing this.

We thought that he was plugging along alright until last night when we found him sobbing by the fridge because his alphabet magnets were on the new fridge and not the old fridge.  All I could do is wrap him in my arms and tell him that we were there for him.  I couldn't tell him it would get better or easier, as I don't know that.  I couldn't fix it.  I can't shield him from it.  We can only be present.

One thing he has been pretty excited about is that he has the whole upstairs to himself.  We are excited because we have been able to make it into a OT play land- also known as a really cool bedroom.   There are window seats for sitting and reading at, a spinning chair for vestibular input, a chalkboard wall for as much tactile and visual stimulation as one could want, a crash pad pillow and tent, and that doesn't include his toys.  It has always been a dream that we would be able to really set things up for him so that he had access to all the sensory input he needed but without the requirement of furniture movement and adult supervision that has been needed before.  Goal achieved.

It should all be complete and move in ready on Friday, which is a great thing because we are moving on Friday.

Looking forward

I am a long time follower of Both Hands and a Flashlight and was inspired by their recent post for their 2012 resolutions. Instead of resolutions, 3 words were chosen to act as a compass for the year.  I am inspired by this and would like to do my own take on this.

Accept.  We really need to work on this principle.  We need to work on accepting ourselves and all our wonderful quirks and imperfections. Also, we need to work on accepting help.  This hasn't been easy for us to do in any facet of our lives. We are taking steps on this. Little Bug is now spending the night with his grandparents once a month and we have gotten help with our home improvements.  This is a principle that we will consistently need focus on.  This does not imply that by accepting things they must stay the same.  Before you can make a change, you need to know where you are at and understand it.


Do.  Especially when it comes to our health.  I have accepted that I am out of shape and overweight.  I get it. I now need to change.  I need to get healthy so that I can be active in life.  I don't want to be fat anymore.  I don't want to die of a heart attack at 39 like my birth mother.  I want to be preset.  I want to be for my son and husband.  We also need to do things for ourselves.  Nick and I are making strides in this, but we need to go further.  We need to allow ourselves hobbies and time outside of autism.


Streamline.  My current job is all about streamlining and efficiency and while I excel at work, this is something I would like to bring home.  Recently, (when we need it the most!) efficiency has gone out the window.  It has been chaos.  While it is understandable, it needs to change.  We are exhausted- partially  because of double work and inefficient.

He's really reading!

Little Bug is in a K-1 program at school which means he does first grade work in math and science and then each student reads at their own level.  He is doing really well in math- so well that he is ahead of the curve.  He loves math enough to ask for more homework in it.

We recently had our parent teacher conference and were concerned about what his progress would be in reading.  He is doing fine.  In fact, he is reading- really reading!  It is amazing to watch children learn to read.  Their excitement is just amazing.  Any time he sees a word that he knows he proudly (and often loudly) reads it and beams.  In that smile you can see his pride and self esteem.

Now that's what I call a Christmas miracle!

There are times in your life when you are knocked flat because you get to witness something truly amazing.  Something that you never dreamed or dared hope would happen.  We have been blessed with a child with Autism and because of him, we are often blessed with miracles. Small miracles that may not change the world for everyone, but they change ours forever.

Little Bug goes to a K-1 Autism program at our local elementary school for the performing arts.  From the name, I am sure that you have gathered that there is a huge emphasis on the arts.  For holiday season, each age group/ grade puts on a presentation.  Little Bug's class joined a regular kindergarten and regular first grade class to perform.

He has been so nervous about this all week that he has dark little circles under his eyes and an upset stomach.  Tears and meltdowns have come at a drop of the hat.   This morning started with tears and worries- because today was the day.  Little Bug woke up "fweakin out because of the people".  We got him dressed in his school clothes and let him zone to help him calm down.

Nick and I went to the school for the performance.  The auditorium was absolutely filled with parents and grandparents, aunts and uncles. Not a single child was in sight.  The noise from the families was enough to  make my ears hurt.  Suddenly everyone drew quite as the children started to file in.  Little Bug's class wore dressy vests and fancy shirts.  Some of the other classes had reindeer antlers and snowflakes.

Little Bug stood and looked at us without smiling. He chewed his lip and wrung his hands.  You could almost seem him vibrating with nervous energy.  Suddenly a Kwanza song bombed throughout the auditorium.  Little Bug's face lit up and he began to sing.

He sang and danced to 6 songs.  He did this in an auditorium filled with about 60 to 75 people and a big stereo.  He did this even though after every song people clapped and cheered.  He smiled.  He laughed.  He didn't cry and he didn't cover his ears.

He was amazing.  This is our Christmas miracle. 

All alone at a birthday party-

and he couldn't be happier!  Little Bug is now in kindergarten and with it comes birthday parties.  Lots and lots of birthday parties.  It seems like every other week someone in his class has a birthday.  Previously we have always stayed with Little Bug at the parties.  You know the drill, chatting with the other parents while watching for signs of a meltdown from over stimulation.  At the first two birthday parties, there were some rocky moments. Crying in a tube at Odyssey simply because it is way too much fun.  Spinning and flapping at Chuck E. Cheese in the middle of the aisle whenever a game was taken.    It was a learning experience for all of us.

As Little Bug has grown, he has begun to be able to really identify when he is tired, when too much is going on, when he is "fweakin' out" as he puts it and ask for time alone.  We have made sure that he has a quite place in our house to go to and also tried to make sure that this sort of space is available for him at our friends and families.  I think the biggest challenge has been getting our families to understand that he doesn't need soothing or loving- just space.  Space to breath, space for quiet, space for himself.  


Unfortunately, these spaces don't always exist at birthday parties.  Birthday parties are monsters that spew sugar and stimulation.  They provide just enough stimulation to leave children buzzing while not enough to get parents to say that dreaded line- NO MORE BIRTHDAY PARTIES!  The last birthday party Little Bug was invited to was Sunday- at the gymnastics room at our local YMCA.  It was a drop off party.  The YMCA had trainers to help the kids with gymnastic equipment and toys for them to play with.  Little Bug asked to be left alone and Nick and I obliged- but not before providing the mom with our cell  phone number.


We spent the next two hours expecting a call while going about last minute Christmas chores.  Any time a phone went off in the store, we would check ours, just in case.  No call came.


When we went to pick Little Bug up, he was almost to the ceiling of the Y- conservatively 20 feet up- on a rope that he had climbed.  He then climbed back down and up again. Apparently, our child is half monkey and had been "surprising" the staff with his climbing abilities for most of the party.  We asked how he did and there were no concerns- apparently, and in a way that made us burst with pride- he was the model party goer.  When we asked him for a recap of the party, he let us know that while he had fun climbing, sometimes he had to play trains by himself and run the trains back and forth in front of his eyes before he could go and play.


We are so proud of him- especially for being able to identify his own needs and fulfill them.  We also can't wait for the next party- this time, Nick and I can enjoy ourselves!

Our first house!

I can’t believe I typed that!  We are closing on our first house.  While there is a general sense of excitement, I feel relieved.  I am so glad that we will be able to have a consistent place for Little Bug and our family.  As you know, change is not always easy for people with ASD.  Little Bug has gone through two moves (that he can remember anyway.)  

The first move was pretty traumatic for him.  We were new to ASD and not quite comfortable with our tools of the trade so to speak.  While we had help from our family, it was still a grueling process as we literally moved from one house and were completely unpacked in 2 days. (Yes, you read that right).  We felt a lot of pressure to get things “normalized” for Little Bug.  Little Bug had quite a few meltdowns, a couple instances of self-injury, and was overall a ball of stress.

The second move was much better for everyone involved.  Nick and I had much more knowledge about ASD and Little Bug which allowed us to help Little Bug with the transition.  We were able to have Little Bug’s room completely set up and ready for him in advance.  Little Bug was able to pick out paint for his room, put his new bed together, and “introduce” his grandparents to the house.  He felt empowered.  When he was overwhelmed, we were able to create a quiet place for him to go to in order to take a break. 

We are now looking at our final move.  Although it comes at a bit of an inconvenient time- Christmas time- it is incredibly exciting.  We are moving in style this time- we are hiring movers.  We have never done this before and it feels like a guilty treat!  

Without further ado, here is a preview of our house! (Be warned, it is a lot of pink!)

backyard

dining room

garages

House!

kitchen

living room

part of the great room upstairs- it runs the length of the house