Stomach update

Last Monday, we took Little Bug to a GI doctor to follow up on the wizard’s suspicion that he wasn’t actually emptying his bowels when going to the bathroom.  He took an X-ray (which took two people to hold Little Bug down for) and confirm that his entire large intestine was filled with crap.  He gave us instructions to have Little Bug drink 3 hours of magnesium citrate mixed with soda or juice twice a day.

If you don’t know, magnesium citrate is a saline based laxative that comes in lemon lime flavor.  It is beyond disgusting.  Little Bug did a great job drinking the first one; however the second dose took three hours to get into him.  Unfortunately, none of this worked.  We then had to try another laxative the next day- which worked.

Little Bug seem to take it in stride.  He was pretty stoked about getting to eat as many popsicles as he could and drinking all the soda he could get his tiny hands on.  He is slightly suspicious of us.  Prior to drinking anything we give him, he wants us to try it.  He knows that we the laxatives in his drinks to get him to take it and also knows that we won’t drink them if they have his medicine in them.  This kid is too smart sometimes.

The doctor didn’t give us any real idea of how we can prevent this- other than daily laxatives.  While he wants Little Bug to sit on the toilet three times a day, he did say that it could take anywhere from 6 to 12 months in order for the large intestine to shrink back to the normal size and potty training in that time may not go well as there is a lack of body awareness there due to the size of the large intestine.

45 minutes

That is how long it takes Little Bug to get his pajamas on by himself. With the right choices, these can be the best 45 minutes of our day. We could rush and do it for him.  We could grow impatient, telling him how it isn't buttoned right and how we need to go to bed. It could take 2 minutes.

We like that it takes 45 minutes. He grabs his pants and struggles to pull them- ensuring that they aren’t twisted and no tags are contained- easily 5 minutes. He has to situate his shirt on the floor so that it is in front of him and upside down- the head is by his feet (give about 3 minutes for this). He then puts his hands in the sleeves and flips the shirt over his head and onto his back. Allow 3 to 5 minutes for celebration.

Now the tricky part- buttons! The shirt has four buttons and each takes about 5 minutes. He must do them himself- he doesn’t want our help, he wants our attention. We patiently watch him do struggle to do the buttons. He talks to himself and chews his lip as he gets frustrated. Right before he melts down, he gets it. 

Finally, success. We jump and celebrate for 5 minutes… then we go to bed. These are wonderful moments.

Safety Issues

One of the scariest things that we experience with Little Bug is a lack of understanding about safety issues. For example, if you blink, he will turn the hot water all the way up in the bathtub and sit under the faucet- never mind the fact that the water is hot enough to cause burns. Cooking is starting to take two people because he doesn’t seem to understand that the stove and oven are hot. He will try to put his hand on the burner because it is red or put is on the front of the oven because “It’s so warm.” Unfortunately, by so warm, it is actually 400 degrees.

He also has begun to actively try to get out of the house. Mind you, we have three locks and a reverse hinge, but he has figured them out. We are now alarming the doors because he can and will get out. At his parent teacher conference yesterday, we found out that when the other students are getting off the bus, he will attempt to run- to the street, to the school, anywhere. Just running.

We don’t know how to get through to him. I can’t convey how agonizing and heart wrenching this is. To know that despite your best attempts, your child doesn’t understand safety boundaries and could be seriously injured or worse. Worse is something I shudder to imagine.

ASD update

We took Little Bug for his annual review with the Wizard and as per usual, it wasn’t what we expected. The last time we went to see the wizard, all we got was a lecture about our sleeping arrangements (co-sleeping) and not to even consider potty training him until he was 4 or 5.

This time, the wizard told us that we were doing the right thing with the co-sleeping. He also felt that we were right to allow Little Bug to potty train in his own way, however was concerned about Little Bug’s bowel movements.

The wizard seemed less positive on things. Last time, the wizard gave us hope that things were going well and we were doing right. This time, the wizard gave us concerns, worries, and fear.

Going to see the wizard isn’t ever what you expect it to be or what others tell you it will be. Seeing our wizard is usually a mix between frustration and humor. The wizard wanted to evaluate Little Bug’s cognitive skills as we had told him that Little Bug could count beyond 20, count a group of objects without counting aloud, knew his colors, alphabet, and could spell his name.

Of course, none of these things happened with the wizard. When asked to name colors, he named shapes. When asked to count, he refused. When asked how to spell his name, he said, “I no know- too hard!”

Nick and I could only laugh. Once again, we look like pathological liars. We joke that Little Bug is hell bent on having therapy until he is 30. The SLP at his school and everyone who knows Little Bug has seen his language grow to a consistent 5 words (at least) per sentence and now includes self correcting. When he goes to speech, he will only give one word answers- even about his beloved sharks.

Potty Training Update

It looks like we are going to be changing diapers for a considerable time longer. We took Little Bug to his ASD specialist (a separate update in itself) and The Wizard is concerned that the reason Little Bug isn’t acknowledging that he has gone poop or has to go, is because he is blocked up with poop. There is a special name for this condition, but basically it means the child goes back and forth from constipation to diarrhea, however they are never fully emptying their bowels.
Nick and I was obviously overwhelmed when the doctor began to talk about the surgery that could fix this problem and what tests- x-rays and ultra sounds- would be needed. We were also concerned when the wizard told us that a cause of this could be lack of nutrition. We could only shake our heads along with the wizard when he said that unfortunately a nutritionist would be involved.

Nothing personal against nutritionist, however when you have a child with restrictive requirements about food, nutrition is the tip of the ice berg. Simply eating some days are a battlefield. While Little Bug has gotten more flexible in many ways, food isn’t one of them. He now will only eat plain chicken- there can’t be salt, pepper, or discoloration or grill lines from cooking. If there is any of the above, he will take the time to pick of the marks with grill lines or will rub the chicken on his pants to get the seasoning off. He refuses milk at this point- including chocolate milk. He only wants juice or water. He has begun to become a carb junky- whole wheat, raw pasta, and handfuls of just plain flour are the items he seeks. We have to lock up our flour as he has been sneaking it. Behaviors like these don’t leave much room for nutrition. A good eating day at our house is when he doesn’t find a way to get to the flour while Nick or I are going to the bathroom and he has eaten something other than chicken. At this point, getting 1 serving of fruits or vegetables (that isn’t plain lettuce) is a miracle

School Update

Well, we met with Little Bug’s teacher. I was surprised at the conference that she defended the particular peer that Little Bug is reporting problems with. She did agree that this child is assertive and does cause a lot of fights. When we questioned why this child was a peer model, she explained that the child has excellent language skills and was useful in a language preschool. The child does struggle with social skills and this is something that they have explained to the child’s parents and are working on at school.

To be honest, Nick and I were disappointed because we felt like our concerns were a bit minimized. The teacher said not to worry so much because socialization is lifelong thing. She also said that it is probably a good thing that Little Bug acts up only at home- at least he is behaved at school.

Nick and I take his difficult behaviors- crying, whining, screaming, biting, kicking, and arguing- as communication. He is obviously having a hard time with something on Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursdays and this is his way of communicating the difficulties.

We received a call on Friday. The reason the teacher was defensive is that Little Bug is blaming the wrong child. The teacher didn’t teach class and only observed on Thursday. What she found, was that Little Bug doesn’t like the child that he blames for the bullying and they constantly fight- however, they equally start it and finish it. The child who is actually bullying Little Bug- calling him stupid and dumb, as well as physically hurting him- is a child Little Bug calls his friend and wants to come to our house.

Now, instead of one set of problems we have three:
1. Decreasing the aggressive instances with the child he doesn’t like
2. Working on defensive phrases and teaching him to get help when he is bullied
3. Our child idolizes the child who calls him stupid and dumb.  The kid who tells him because he is stupid and dumb, they can't be friends.

What do you do when your child loves their bully? When they have only nice things to say about the bully.

Not sure what to call this

Little Bug goes to a special education program for 3 to 4 year olds that includes peer models. The peer models are usually chosen by the teacher based on their ability to fit into the program and the classroom dynamics. In Little Bug’s class, there is a peer model causing some trouble. This boy is incredibly assertive and Little Bug can’t let things go when someone does something to upset him. They have been in two fights- actual rolling across the playground and class room fights. Little Bug has come home with marks on him from these fights. The teacher insists that Little Bug isn’t starting this and is defending himself.

We are trying to work on this with Little Bug. We talk about how people can have accidents and how we should respond. We also talk about how we can use words in order to get help. Recently, Little Bug has been in quite a mood whenever he gets home from school. With him, it is incredibly difficult to get information in a linear fashion. He still can’t consistently answer who, what, and where questions. Often times, he comes home to tell us that he hurt someone at school. We have called the school and they have confirmed that while there have been altercations; Little Bug is merely defending himself.

Yesterday, we finally got some information from him. He looked at Nick and said, “You aren’t my friend- you weird!” A light bulb went off. After asking him why he said that, he told us that a certain peer model calls him weird and that Little Bug isn’t his friend because he is weird. Apparently, this peer model also says this to a couple of non verbal children in Little Bug’s class. Little Bug talked about how sad and mad this made him. How when this peer model says this, he hits him. (Thank goodness for honesty so we can address this). Little Bug says he doesn’t like school when this peer model is there.

On one side, this seems pretty normal for kids. Kids learn from these altercations and children this age have horrible impulse control. At the same time, this sounds targeted to the just a few children in Little Bug’s class. I am unsure whether I am over reacting and how far to stick my nose in. What kills me is that he doesn’t want to go to school anymore of Wednesday and Thursday. He *loves* school- to the point of being hysterical on Sunday morning because it isn’t Monday yet. This child has taken that away from him and made him feel anxious and unwanted repeatedly. What is the right way to handle this?

Are you sure you want to cast the first stone?

The responses to the newpaper on the article I posted floored me. I can’t begin to understand the judgment of the mother. It was suggested that her child wasn’t really disabled. People cried foul that any 4 year old would be on the bus at all- let alone a disabled one. One person even suggested that the mother sent the daughter to school so that she could rest.



My stance on this is very clear- no child should be forgotten. This exact situation is something I fear for Little Bug. When we first signed him up for school, he was slated to go on a bus that would take him to the school for emotionally disabled 18 to 21 year olds. When we called, there wasn’t an apology- just it’s a good thing you called, because we would have sent him to Park Ave.


The judgment of that mother and child infuriated me. Maybe people outside the special education system don’t understand that here they push busing of all kids. Little Bug lives 6 blocks away from his school and rides the bus. We had several meetings about it as Nick and I were concerned with his safety and the ability of the driver to care for him. The school felt that he should ride the bus to encourage independence and to assimilate with his peers.


I was surprised how off track people got with this story. Questioning whether apraxia is really a disability or not and the motives of the mother. Who gives a shit? What matters is that a child was left of the bus for hours. I don’t care whether that child was disabled or not and why they were on the bus- it shouldn’t have happened. This would be terrifying for any child and parent. This would make any parent demand the bus driver’s job and then some.

He can do it!

The newest thing for Little Bug to say is “I can’t do it- too hard!” He now says this at least once a day about any number of things. Personally, this is a pet peeve of mine. Anyone who knows me, knows that I am determined- to the point of bullheadness- and value independence. While we don’t know how independent Little Bug may turn out to be, we want to ensure that he has every chance to be independent.


Little Bug has begun trying to undress himself. At first, shirts were being shimmied down the body in some elaborate dance; however he has finally figured it out. He looked at us and yelled, “I can do it!”

Yes he can- and we always will push for that answer.

Teaching someone to be a good friend

One of the things we struggle with the most is the lack of empathy. Little Bug has an incredibly hard time understanding that other people feel things completely different from what you do- you know, mind blindness.


A new child joined the school last month and has cried every day since- on the way there, during all portions of preschool, and on the way home. Needless to say, this is a bit much for Little Bug. Every time he gets off the bus, he tells us about the little boy, “E was fying fying fying. I said No fying- be quiet!”

We have told him how to be a good friend- you could say that we practice this. Nick will pretend to cry and I tell Little Bug things he could say to make Nick feel better. We talk about how Little Bug cries sometimes and the things we tell him. No change. Every day, he comes home with stories about how he told E to stop crying.

I don’t know how else to teach this- Nick and I are empathetic and caring- for each other, him, our family, and friends. Little Bug sees this modeled all the time. However, it isn’t picked up. Is there another way to teach this?

A Dream is Born

Sometimes, dreams are wonderfully born from a pivotal occurrence in someone’s life. Other times, they grow from steady determination and immersion-with a sprinkle of kismet. For Little Bug, I believe it is that later.

We all know that he has been obsessed with sharks; however he has now added whales, dolphins, turtles, and fishes to his repertoire of marine life. He has basically given up regular kid shows, favoring Discovery and National Geographic specials.


Yesterday, we took him to the aquarium again. It was an amazing trip and the realization of a dream. He watched the sharks and fishes in the tank and began to explain why some were fish and some were sharks. He pointed at a big Sturgeon and explained that it couldn’t be a shark because it only had one dorsal fin.


His light bulb moment came from the Seattle waterfronts new problem- tons and tons of jellyfish that shouldn’t be here and they can’t figure out how to get rid of. Little Bug and I were waiting for Nick on a pier and looking at the water. Suddenly, a bit of pink could be spotted. He yelled, “Jellyfish!” and began to jump up and down.


I watched and waited to see what it was. I was a little nervous that it was trash and he would be disappointed. More and more pink began to become visible along with some white and orange. Finally, a huge jellyfish appeared. Right behind it came a flock of tiny opaque jellies. This was Little Bug’s first experience with sea life outside of an aquarium.


He looked at me and said, “I’ma learn bout sharks.”


“Do you mean watching your movies and reading your books?”


“No! Ima swim with sharks- tiger sharks….whale sharks… bull sharks… jelly fishes…. Squid”


“Do you mean a biologist?”


“Yep. I’ma beelologist!”


Dreams are fragile, fragile things. This is something we weren’t sure we would ever get to experience with Little Bug. Nick and I will move mountains and go to hell and back to make sure he has every opportunity to become a beelologist.

School Conference

Well, we had another parent teacher conference last week and it went amazingly well. His teacher said that she is amazed at his progress- he is now able to share with another child without prompting from an adult for 10 minutes. She didn’t expect him to be as comfortable as he is until his second year in the program.


She impressed us by going to an Autism conference at our local children’s hospital. We spent time talking about the spectrum and the differences between each kind of Autism and how basically every person with Autism is unique. We also discussed the possible changes that the DSM V might contain and how that would affect diagnoses and as well as school eligibility.

Finally, she told Nick and I a few things that we didn’t expect to hear. First, that Little Bug is the best behaved child in the class and she uses him as a peer model for all the other kids- including the peer models. She looks to him as a little leader in the class. She also stated that he is making progress on all his goals and well on his way to meeting some already. Nick and I thought it would take a lot longer than it has for him to make this progress. Finally, she said that except for the speech delay- his MLU is 2.2 and the typical range is 5 for his age group- she doesn’t feel that he qualifies for special education. She is glad that they are only evaluated every 3 years as she is afraid he would be denied next year and she wants to keep him in her class. We do too. He is flourishing there and learning a ton- letter recognition of the whole alphabet, counting to 39, and vital social skills.

A short essay

Recently our family was asked to submit a short write up about Little Bug's biggest accomplishment and how Early Intervention has helped him. I expected this to be easy- I would know what it was and get it done. It was incredibly difficult for many reasons.

The first I struggled with is that it is hard to make people see the amazing in the struggles and accomplishments our children have. For example, Little Bug took his shirt off for the first time ever last night. That's huge! He has to sequence the events in order to get it off. He had to use motor planning in order to ensure that his arms, torso, neckm and head all worked towards that common goal. To most people, it would be assumed that our children can do this. We know that isn't always so.

Secondly, it was hard to pick out his biggest. We had a hard time looking at all the work that he has done and picking one part. How do you pick out the most amazing change? I know that no matter what our situations are, our children are constantly moving forward.

Lastly, we really wanted to make sure that we gave credit. While Nick and I work hard to help Little Bug achieve his highest, we have had a lot of help.

I would like to share our essay with you.

“Woooo-wooo! Hi, Thomas!” Little Bug said. He drove Percy past the shed so that he could say hello to Thomas. He then drove Percy to the freight yard in order to pick up a mail car. “Let’s go get Thomas!”

He lined up his trains and then began to count, “One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, TEN!”

We used to count the words Little Bug had. Each one is a gift that is treasured. Each word is met with exultation. Each word is a foot hold on a mountain getting us one step closer to Lennon’s highest potential- whatever that may be.

Little Bug was diagnosed with Autism and severe speech delays in July of 2008. At that time, he had 10 word approximations- Da (dad), la (water), go, ca-ca (car), Yu (yes), bu (bus), bo (boat), no, pu (puppy), fish. He never played functionally; instead he spun wheels, lined things up, and rolled cars back and forth. He couldn’t tell us if he was hurt, scared, tired, or hungry. Every day was plagued by uncertainty for us.

We were recommended to contact EI by our Primary Care Physician. Through our FRC, we were connected with the Birth to Three Development Center School. Little Bug was assigned a play group, a one on one Therapist, as well as an Occupational Therapist. When he first started, he tried to bite the therapists and other children. He would hide from his FRC and his therapists when they came to the house. Out of an hour of therapy, up to half would be spent getting him to work up to them. It paid off.

With them, he flourished. Every week, they would challenge his repetitive behavior- moving cars out of line so that they would be driven. Stacking blocks were made into bridges. Trains were used to make deliveries rather than spinning wheels. They broke down playing into sequential steps and made it click for him.

They endlessly strove for personal contact between Lennon and everyone else. They taught us how to get him to look at us. They hid toys around the room so that he would look and point to request. Nick and I were challenged to make every interaction an opportunity to teach Little Bug a skill- saying hello when someone greets you, pointing to what you want, making a car pretend to drive, tolerating bathing and dressing, and a million other tasks that are assumed to be achieved but that we knew were not guaranteed.

We have lost count of words. Little Bug says so many that we can’t keep track. He plays- really plays with trains, cars, puzzles, and us. He says hello to his peers and is learning to share. Nick and I have learned to be the kind of parents Little Bug needs because of Birth to Three and our FRC. They have given Nick and I the tools to begin to do this independently. They have given us future resources for help.

His therapists and FRC will always be dear to our hearts. Their dedication, talent, and love for our family is amazing. They do things that people find impossible. They deal with families who are suffering and struggling. They deal with children who can be aggressive and have meltdowns that last for hours. They treasure rewards that other people would overlook- the joys of seeing a family succeed, messy hugs, and sticky kisses. We will always be grateful for what they have done for us.

Words

Its is raining wonderful and glorious words at our house and I wanted to share some:

hullabaloo
delicious
wonderful
awesome
flamingo
beautiful
amazing
great
Correct use of I, you, me, etc.
his/her


His speech is blossoming. Sentences are running out of him faster than I can keep track. He now comes up to you and says, "I want to talk." He then will pick a random topic- snow, frocidols (crocodiles to you), the dog, the school bus, and talk about them.

He can now answer questions like- What do you do when it is cold? What is a bed for?

What makes you special?

Little Bug, Nick and I have been having lots of conversations regarding boys and girls and moms and dads. It started last Wednesday when Little Bug looked at me at dinner and said, "MOMMY!"

I didn't get upset. I didn't get angry. I simply asked, "What do you mean?"

"...says you are a girl." Interesting. Apparently, someone has taken it upon themselves to discuss with Little Bug who really is a daddy and who isn't.

Now, I am not naive- I know that Little Bug and I will talk about this a lot- to the point of making me crazy. I know that he may hate me for a while when he gets older and his friends give him shit. I know that he will always know, above all else, Nick and I love him more than our own lives and that is what matters. I believe that he will accept it and be proud of having two daddies- even if one is a special daddy.

What I do mind is that someone took it upon themselves to get into this with my son. While he has told us who said this, they deny it. It's a tricky situation.

But I digress and want to get back to the really cool part of all this mess. As I said, we have been talking about daddies and mommies and parts etc. I explained to him that I was born a girl, but am a boy. Whether he understands that at 3, I don't know, but I want to be honest with him. Regardless, he seemed unphased and went back to calling me Daddy Blake.

Yesterday, he brought it up again. He began counting the number of boys and girls in our house. He stated, "4 boys- you, me, Fink, Nick. 1 girl- you."

I looked at him and asked, "Am I a special boy?" I asked this hoping that it would ease us back into the whole transgender thing.

Little Bug looked at me and beamed, "Yes! Me special too!"

"I know you are, bug. You will always be special and amazing to Daddy Nick and I. What makes me special?"

He looked at me and beamed again. "Because I love you."

I am happy to special that way above all others.

New Skills

This has been an amazing week for our family. We have gotten to see some truly amazing things come from Little Bug. For example, we were at Hama and Bumpa’s and were able to show him how he does simple subtraction. I asked him how many pumpkins you would have if you had three pumpkins and took away 1 pumpkin. He didn’t even blink before saying, “2 punkins!”

Later, Bumpa and Little Bug were drawing on their chalkboard and Bumpa was trying to get him to spell his name. That didn’t take much work. Bumpa started with L and paused. Little Bug looked at him and said E…N…N…O…N. Hama and Bumpa were just amazed. So were Nick and I- we had no idea that he could do this.

His drawing skills are blooming as well. This week he has drawn the following- a jellyfish, a recognizable happy face- eyes (with pupils) nose, mouth, teeth, ears; and a correctly drawn pumpkin.

Finally, he impressed the hell out of his teacher and us yesterday. At the end of their day, the staff in his classroom goes around to each child and asks them what they did today. When his teacher asked Little Bug, he said, “I played outside with my friends- J, M, and L. It was fun and they make me happy.” First of all, those are the longest unprompted sentences that I can think of. But more importantly and impressively, he spoke about feelings and friends- something that he almost never does.

General Chaos

This is my new nickname for Little Bug and how things have been recently. On Thursday, we had to take Little Bug to the Urgent Care because he had a fever and a horrible cough that started on Tuesday. Friday and Saturday were much worse for him- he started to not eat and say that it hurt to drink. Luckily, he is much better and able to go back to school.

Starting last Sunday, Little Bug has begun waking up at 4 or so every morning. Yesterday he woke up at 3:30. As he doesn’t take naps- of his own volition- we have tried having him go to bed earlier- which only results in waking up earlier.

The bright side of this chaos is that he has some wonderful emerging skills. He has learned two new games- “I am…” and “I see…” “I see” is the same as I Spy. “I am” involves picking an animal and either acting it out or telling some details about it. He has become very good at pretending through this game and has begun to do it independently. He will stand on the couch and flap his arms and say, “I am a bird!” He will hop on all fours and say, “I am a frog.”

He also demonstrated the concept of wanting- something besides food, water, etc. While this sounds like an annoying thing- the beginning of the I want monster even- it is cool to watch him understand that people have wants besides needs. He doesn’t say “I want (insert toy)” like most kids his age without seeing the toy or touching it. All three year olds who I know immediately begin asking for a toy when they see a commercial or activity in a show. Maybe Little Bug is delayed because we don’t have TV, but I doubt that. He has plenty of advertising aimed at him. Just look at the inserts they put in DVDs for children- stocked full of toys, books, games, etc.

He was watching the new Thomas movie, which now includes commercials for toys at the beginning, which I hate, but I digress. He began to flap and jump when he saw the Spin and Fix Thomas. Well, Little Bug wasn’t done with just wanting. He looked at me and said, “I want that toy. Santa bing it for me on Pissmas.” Not only has he demonstrated an understanding of want, but an understanding of a concept- like Christmas and Santa. I guess we all know what Santa is bringing him on Pissmas.

On Sunday, we carved pumpkins. He did a great job of touching the nasty, stringy gunk in the middle- I think my sensory issues with that showed more than his did. He loved getting to say whether the faces were happy faces or scary faces. That he was willing to allow us to carve the pumpkins at all was huge. Last year, when we attempted to carve pumpkins he lost it. He didn't want the pumpkins to change- they had to stay just the way they were.

On Monday, he asked to sit on the potty. We were excited because he fell off the wagon at home since he has started going to the bathroom on the potty at school. Well, he not only sat on the potty, but he pooped on the potty. While Nick and I were totally surprised, he seemed absolutely shocked. He stood up and pointed at the toilet,yelling, “POOOPPPP!!!”

All in all a chaotic and amazing week.

Interesting article

Mercury levels similar in kids with, without autism: study

by Jean-Louis Santini Jean-louis Santini – Mon Oct 19, 5:38 pm ET

WASHINGTON (AFP) – Blood levels of mercury are similar in children with autism and in those developing typically, a study released Monday found.

The research at the University of California-Davis, however, does not address whether the heavy metal, known to be able to cause developmental problems in children, plays a role in causing the disorder.

"We looked at blood-mercury levels in children who had autism and children who did not have autism," said lead author Irva Hertz-Picciotto, a professor of environmental and occupational health.

"The bottom line is that blood-mercury levels in both populations were essentially the same. However, this analysis did not address a causal role, because we measured mercury after the diagnosis was made," she added.

Earlier research has shown that mercury can adversely affect development of the nervous system.

The research, published in the journal "Environmental Health Perspectives," is the largest investigation to date on mercury levels in the blood of autistic children.

The study was done as part of the California-based Childhood Autism Risks from Genetics and the Environment (CHARGE) Study, of which Hertz-Picciotto is lead investigator.

CHARGE is a comprehensive epidemiological investigation that seeks to identify factors associated with autism and discover clues to its origins.

Children who took part were aged between 24 and 60 months and diagnosed with autism as well as children with other developmental disorders. Children who developing typically were used as controls.

The study probed sources of mercury in the participants' environments, such as fish consumption, personal-care products (such as nasal sprays or earwax removal products, which may contain mercury) and the types of vaccinations they received, researchers said.

"The study also examined whether children who have dental fillings made of the silver-colored mercury-based amalgam and who grind their teeth or chew gum had higher blood-mercury levels," they added.

"In fact, those children who both chew gum and have amalgams did have higher blood-mercury levels.

"But the consumption of fish -- such as tuna and other ocean fish and freshwater fish -- was far and away the biggest and most significant predictor of blood-mercury levels," they stressed.

The study was carried out on 452 children: 249 were diagnosed as autistic, 143 were deemed to be developing normally and 60 showed retarded development such as Down Syndrome.

"Just as autism is complex, with great variation in severity and presentation, it is highly likely that its causes will be found to be equally complex. It's time to abandon the idea that a single 'smoking gun' will emerge to explain why so many children are developing autism," said Hertz-Picciotto.

"The evidence to date suggests that, without taking account of both genetic susceptibility and environmental factors, the story will remain incomplete," she added.

Conversations

A couple nights ago, Little Bug cuddled up to me in bed. “Daddy Bake?”
“Yes Bug?”
“I swim whale sharks.”
“You want to swim with whale sharks?”
“Yeah… tiger sharks, bee white white sharks, sand tiger sharks, blue sharks, hammer sharks- scawy for me. Just look. Bee hurt me.”
“You’re right; all those sharks could hurt you. Can whale sharks hurt you?”
“NO! No teef!”
“You’re right, they don’t have teeth.”
“You come with me?”
“You want me to go swim with whale sharks with you…. Anytime.”

He rolled over, content in this conversation. He closed his eyes and cuddled in between me and Nick. Within seconds he was asleep.

When Nick and Little Bug come pick me up from the bus stop, I always ask Little Bug about his day. He normally says that he “paid twains” and that’s about it. Sometimes, I get a garbled sentence about his teacher with lots of hand motions. Yesterday, he surprised us all.

“How was your day, Little Bug?”
“I paid twains.”

I rolled my eyes and sighed thinking that this would be the usual end of our conversation. “How was your lunch?”
“I ate. Raidins. Ham. Capcakes.” He frowned furiously. It was obvious that he was really trying to figure something out. “I shared with O. O is my friend. N. too!”

I burst into tears. He has never mentioned friends. He has never mentioned people from his class before. He went to his last school with O and although O was Little Bug’s favorite person to play with, he never talked about him. In fact, they never talked to each other. They would hold hands during Red Light, Green Light, and play next to each other. Apparently, he always holds O’s hand when getting off the bus and going to lunch.
Little Bug has also decided he has a west fiend- which I am assuming is a best friend… our dog Frank. He gave him a hug last night and said, “Frank, you my west fiend.”

It’s potty time!

The past two days have shown an emerging skill- asking for the potty when needed. We had basically given up on potty training for a while. It seems like when parents get really excited and really want something to happen, that is normally when things seem to fall apart. I think children feel pressured and just can’t perform under the stress of the parent expectation. Even if we don’t tell them that we expect it, I believe that through emotion and subtle facial and tonal cues, they can sense the importance and weight of the expectation.

Like I said, we gave up. It wasn’t worth the tears, the screaming, the self injuring, and stress. It wasn’t worth trying to force him to comply because that’s what you do.

So imagine Nick’s shock when on Tuesday Little Bug walked up and said, “Want to sit on potty.”

Little Bug walked into the bathroom, dragged the stepstool over and put the potty ring in. He then took off his pants and diaper and sat on the potty. Nick was reaching for the basket of incentives- toys only played with on the potty- when Little Bug peed. He clapped for himself and smiled. Flushed the toilet and ran to get a diaper and a potty treat.

He has now repeated this feat 4 more times. Each time he asks, he actually needs to go. He sits on the toilet, pees within seconds of sitting, and gets down.

This is wonderful! We’ll see how long it lasts and how often he can do it in a day without interference. We really don’t want to force him into this.

Apparently at school he has been trying to go potty. It was part of his IEP, however because we weren’t having success at home, the school wasn’t trying. Several times during a class, the teacher and aides will prompt the kids who are either potty trained or actively potty training to go to the bathroom. The little kids all go in and go potty. Little Bug feels that he should be allowed to participate and has been going in with the other kids.

He will now be potty training at school- but only if he wants.